Bunheads: I’ll Be Your Meyer Lansky

Fanny is (thank goodness) back on this week’s Bunheads, “I’ll Be Your Meyer Lansky,” though, sadly, it seems that in return we got a Boo-less week. Fanny’s return marks the return of Fanny and Michelle’s financial problems, as they meet with their accountant Eric, who has clearly had enough of their nonsense. He thinks they should develop some of their land, and Fanny scoffs at the idea until she realizes that the homemade candle stand she loves is actually on her property – and the owner is paying rent to someone else. “It’s not like I walk around every inch of my land every day with my hounds, like Pride and Prejudice.

But this inspires an actually workable idea from Michelle: They can make an outdoor amphitheater for their dance performances and rent it out for other shows and events. When their accountant says they don’t know enough about business to pull this off – and don’t have enough credit to get a loan – Michelle decides to take a business class. “Stringer Bell did it, right?” Fanny: “Every time we have a conversation I feel like I need to add more movie channels.” But when Michelle tries to get her high school transcript to register for a class, it doesn’t go so well. “I think I forgot to finish high school.” She went to the graduation ceremony, but had one class she was supposed to finish over the summer and never did. Oops.

The girls eagerly bring Michelle news from the Oyster Bar that Godot has returned. “Put on a slutty dress and get down there!” But they don’t really approve of her choice. Sasha: “Is that the dress you’re wearing?” Michelle: “Yes, oddly enough, the dress I am wearing is the dress I am wearing.” Michelle tries to flirt with Godot, but it doesn’t really go anywhere, and . . . I’m honestly not sure where that storyline is going, either.

The mystery of Frankie and Cozette rumbles along – the girls can’t figure out how they got popular so quickly, and they’re disrupting the school’s social order by bringing people from different cliques together. “They are defueling society!” Cozette even defends Truly’s store, which is now set up in the dance studio, by constructing an enchanting dance incorporating it. When the siblings start using sign language with each other, it’s basically the last straw: “They’re like two really hot unicorns.”

Mel’s brother Charlie’s girlfriend dumps him in a very public way and the girls are at first excited, but Mel quickly realizes that Charlie is actually upset, and his friend swears to Mel that Charlie did nothing wrong. So Mel is overcome by sisterly outrage and pulls the girl’s hair in the hallway, knocking her over, and it’s great. Elsewhere, Ginny mentions that her dad is replicating his first wedding exactly, which is completely bizarre and I hope we hear more about that later.

The various plotlines come together at Oyster Bar trivia night, where, to no one’s surprise, Truly is set up with an elaborate system. But her sister Milly apparently owns the trivia equipment, and makes a tentative overture to Truly: They can be partners! She knows the bugs in the software! Hah. Truly’s not going for it, and I really like the various sibling storylines going on in this episode. Sam, who’s running the game, wants Michelle to be her partner to help with arty subjects, but Michelle’s recent discovery of her lack of diploma has freaked her out and she can’t answer anything. And after Godot ignores Michelle’s flirtation, Mel continues her sudden violent streak by pushing him off a bar stool – and Cozette gives her a roller derby flyer. Interesting.

Seeing Milly there gives Michelle an idea: She can sell some land to her in order to finance her amphitheater. Milly’s not interested in the land, but she does want to partner on the theater, and I hope this means we get to keep Liza Weil around. Truly’s upset by this development, as she thinks she’ll lose Michelle and Fanny to Milly. Michelle tries to reassure her: “Milly’s not my friend. You’re my friend.” Aw. Truly: “She always gets everything she wants.” Michelle: “Well. She didn’t get Hubbell.” . . . point.

At the end of the night, the girls go home with Sasha: “Let’s go upstairs, order pizza, and plan how far away we’ll all go to college.” Aw. But going away suddenly becomes much less theoretical when the girls see all the moving boxes in Sasha’s house and become understandably alarmed. “My parents are just trying to make a point.” “Is the point that you’re moving?” It turns out that the moving trucks are coming tomorrow and Sasha is still refusing to pack. Her mother finally gives in, in a way, and announces that she will simply leave Sasha in Paradise. She gives her the keys and informs her that she has two weeks in the house. Sasha shows up at Michelle’s, distraught over the whole situation. “I won’t leave. I’m staying here. I live here. . . . What am I gonna do?” Michelle assures her that they’ll figure it out, and the episode ends with Sasha leading a haunting dance to Erin McKeown’s “You, Sailor.”

Other favorite lines:
“Yelp is for people who photograph their food.”
“I don’t need a partner. I have my troll doll.”
“Well, Truly, the next time I have some sort of emotional breakdown and run from everything that is good and stable in my life, I promise I’ll invite you to come and watch.”
“He has a guest house. You can have an entire structure to sulk in.”

(Image courtesy of ABC Family.)

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