Nashville: Be Careful of Stones That You Throw

The big news coming out of “Be Careful of Stones That You Throw” was that Rayna and Juliette finally did it! They took the plunge and decided to go on tour together. Their “Wrong Song” live single is soaring up the charts, they recorded a studio version to capitalize on its popularity and this is the only way both of them will get the tour they so desperately want. Whether either of them will return with black eyes and patches of hair missing remains to be seen. 😉

Speaking of ‘doing it’ Juliette finally had her way with her football hunk Sean. At the end of the last episode he was her almost fiance, but now he’s her all-the-way husband. The two lovebirds eloped overnight and then hit the floor of their limo for a hot and sweaty celebration. But not everyone was lining up to congratulate the newlyweds. Sean’s family was horrified at his quickie wedding (not to mention his choice of bride) and demanded that he make amends with a church wedding. If he’s going to make a bad decision, he better at least have the balls to do it in front of God! Juliette reluctantly shared the news with her mother Jolene (who is still recovering in rehab) and was angered by her disappointed reaction.

Jolene worries that her daughter is careening down the same destructive path that she did, just with a different vice. Juliette is haunted by a deep void inside her and she keeps trying to fill it with people: fans, lovers … and now husbands. She thinks that if she has enough love and adoration, it will start to seep inside and finally make her happy. But the inconvenient truth is that Juliette is just play-acting. She likes the IDEA of being Mrs. Sean Butler, not the reality. And she doesn’t really love him.

It should have been obvious to everyone watching that Juliette doesn’t really understand what it means to be married. Sean was disappointed that she agreed to a 5-month tour the day after they became husband and wife. With his football schedule they won’t even see each other more than a few days the entire time! I’m certainly not suggesting that his commitments are more important than hers, but what’s disturbing is that Juliette isn’t fazed at all. Sean (naturally!) will miss his wife and is really bummed that they’ll be apart. Juliette just shrugged her shoulders, flashed her flirty smile and promised to rock his world whenever they can hook up.

Juliette’s plan to get back at Sean’s mother for her harsh dismissal also backfired. Juliette agreed to the church wedding, but doubt started to creep in as the planning progressed. Sean’s mother ‘sweetly’ reminded her new daughter-in-law that she not only married him, she married his entire family. She may have shown them she can play for keeps … but it means she actually has to keep playing. The wedding was set for a Saturday afternoon – the day before Juliette was scheduled to leave for her tour. But a last-minute gift from Sean’s mother brought things crumbling down. A pendant necklace that had been passed down from Sean’s grandmother started to feel more like a choke collar than a heartfelt accessory. On her way to the ceremony, Juliette took a detour to the airport. Fully clad in her wedding gown she boarded a private jet and took off, leaving Sean at the altar … sort off. The church wedding was just for show and Juliette is still legally hitched. No matter what she’s decided to do, she’s got a lot of cleaning up ahead of her. I’m guessing she’ll go the Britney route and have the marriage annulled.

Rayna was just as eager to hit the road to escape her own relationship issues. Things are still tense with Teddy now that his embezzling secret is out in the open. And they only got worse when she threatened to take Maddie and Daphne on tour with her. Teddy doesn’t want to be separated from his little girls and I sympathize with him. Despite his betrayal, Rayna doesn’t have the right to make big parenting decisions without his input. But I don’t think it’s just fatherly love that’s motivating Teddy right now. If his wife leaves on a 5-month tour and takes the kids with her, it’s going to look bad to the voters. And that’s something I don’t sympathize with or care about.

When Lamar got wind of Rayna’s tour plans he ambushed her, making ugly threats to scare her into staying put. He dangled the truth of Maddie’s parentage over Rayna’s head. Wouldn’t it be a shame if that sweet little girl were to learn that her beloved daddy wasn’t her real father? No one has come right out and said that Maddie is Rayna and Deacon’s love child, but I will buy a really expensive hat and eat it if he’s not the culprit. It was a disgusting tactic that left Rayna speechless. But the person I’m the most appalled by is Rayna’s sister Tandy. She pretends to be Rayna’s confidante and rolls her eyes good-naturedly at their father’s bad behaviour. But she’s not just a victim of circumstance forced to do her daddy’s bidding. She’s just as manipulative, cunning and ambitious as he is – willing to sink to new lows to get what she wants. And she’s worse than Lamar because she pretends not to be.

But Rayna called her family’s nasty bluff and tattled on them to Teddy. He flew off the handle when he learned that Lamar and Tandy used his daughter as a pawn. He’s known all along that he’s not Maddie’s biological father and he would do anything to protect her. I have to admit I was shocked that Teddy knew the truth. But that was probably because I was totally mixed up and thought Maddie was the younger daughter – which would mean that Rayna had an affair with Deacon in the middle of her marriage. As boring, and frequently annoying as Teddy is, I have to give him credit for telling Lamar to go hell when he went too far. And also for being a fantastic father to Maddie from day 1, even though she was a product of his wife’s relationship with another man.

Teddy’s heroic act of defiance against Lamar brought Rayna to her senses and she agreed to leave the girls at home while she’s on tour. They can visit her when they’re off school, but she’s not ready to rock their happy home life just yet.

In other Nashville news, Scarlett and Gunnar were still in the middle of a weird little fight about nothing – because apparently squabbling is easier than addressing your real feelings. Scarlett also moved back into her old apartment, sans Avery who has locked down his record deal in Atlanta. He stopped by to pick up the rest of his stuff and she was stupid enough to sleep with him. Sometimes I adore Scarlett and other times I just want to slap her around until she smartens up. After their romp down memory lane Scarlett learns that Avery ditched his band mates for a solo deal and snaps at him for being a selfish jerk. She already knew that, but she forgot that she already knew that because … err … because … she thinks his floppy hair is sexy? She’s a sucker for his fashion sense? He’s really a vampire with compelling powers? There has to be some explanation, because I really don’t get it.

As a favour / passive aggressive F U to Avery, Scarlett hooks up with his old band mates to perform one last show with the Avery Barkley Band. She naturally kicks the concert’s ass and the crowd goes wild. Avery receives an extra special gift during a studio session: a video link of Scarlett rocking the hell out of the song he’s struggling to record. AWESOME.

As a side note: If you are in a band, do not let the lead singer name said band after himself. Even if you’re all friends and have pledged to love each other forever. And if you are stupid enough to let that happen, do not be surprised when the lead singer becomes more important and famous then you. What the hell did you think was going to happen?

The former Avery Barkley Band is so impressed with Scarlett’s singing chops that they offer her a permanent spot in their group. But her time behind the mic only reminded her of how much she misses singing with Gunnar. She patches things up with him and they close out the episode with a beautiful montage song. Of course they manage to avoid all of their unsaid baggage – how Gunnar is obviously in love in Scarlett and she is either not ready or not interested. Psst … it’s ‘not ready’, she’s totally interested!

Photo Courtesy of ABC

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