Lost Girl: In Memoriam

From the moment the Season Four opener of Lost Girl begins, something is amiss. Kenzi rides into a warehouse on the underside of a truck and is creeping around crates. She notices odd men in robes and fires off the first of several great lines: “This is so Raiders.” She finds a basket and says, “The Una Mens,” and as she reaches to open it, someone comes up from behind her, covers her mouth, and replies, “Indeed. They are coming. And they will be hungry.”

With that, Season Four’s big bad is named – The Una Mens, which translated from Latin is the One Mind. The potential threat posed by the Una Mens is immediately revealed. They want to capture Kenzi because she’s a “claimed” human and therefore perceived as a threat to the Fae world, but Kenzi has been trying to keep them off her scent by claiming she’s Fae, complete with pretty little sparks flying from her hands. Dyson and Hale have arrived by this point and tell this Una Mens lackey that he is mistaken and that Kenzi is Fae. The lackey doubts that his intel is wrong but leaves them be for the moment. In the conversation that follows, we learn that Kenzi’s sparkly fae tricks are only temporary. We also learn that Hale is pining for Kenzi but is acting like lovesick school boy who has no clue what to do. Hale offers to take care of paperwork and Dyson says he’ll make sure Kenzi is safe with another of my favourite lines: “I’m going to take Tinkerbell home.”

It’s over at Bo and Kenzi’s loft where things really start to feel odd. Kenzi and Dyson are chatting and the conversation shifts to the collection of thongs air drying all around them, and I notice Kenzi is wearing Bo’s kimono. Next thing I know, Kenzi and Dyson are kissing. Was that as awkward for you to watch as it was for me? I’ve always seen their relationship as more brother and sister than lovers, but I found myself torn by the undeniable chemistry that they exuded together on screen in that moment. Dyson and Kenzi discuss how it’s not fair to Hale since he is smitten with Kenzi, but there’s definitely some side action going on. Their little encounter doesn’t go any further and soon they are interrupted by a knock at the door. Guess who? It’s none other than Bo’s mama, Aoife! She’s seeking out the help of Kenzi, PI. I nearly choked with laughter when Kenzi calls Aoife as the one who “made Ash that talks like Batman go boom,” referring to Aoife’s attack on the Light Fae at the end of Season One. Back to the case at hand – Aoife thinks she had a daughter at some point and wants to hire Kenzi to help find the girl. It’s at this moment that I realize OH MY GOSH THEY DON’T KNOW WHO BO IS! What kind of crazy parallel universe is this taking place in?

Their conversation moves to a diner, and it’s established that the last time Dyson saw Aoife was at Taft’s lab of Fae horrors. OK, so the whole Taft thing happened, but when Aoife shows Dyson and Kenzi a photo of Bo, there isn’t an iota of recognition. Aoife then reveals a tattoo-like mark on her eyeball that proves there has been some Fae mind wiping going down, and things are starting to make sense to me.

Dyson mentions Tamsin who is missing after their literal cliffhanger at the end of Season Three. Dyson reveals that he survived the car going over the cliff and into the water because he wolfed out, and he’s trying to find Tamsin to figure out why she went all Thelma and Louise. He’s been returning to the scene of the accident every day at the same time hoping to gain some insight, and leaves the diner.

Aoife and Kenzi stay behind and Aoife offers to take care of the cheque which is an interesting variation on the dine and dash – using her Succubus powers on the waitress. When Aoife is touching the unsuspecting server, Kenzi briefly sees Bo in Aoife’s place.

Kenzi heads over to see Trick at the Dal Riata, and in his room under the way station, he can tell that something is off with the universe. In their conversation, Trick says that the Una Mens have come to restore order because things in the Fae world have “gotten messy.” We also learn at this point that Lauren is MIA – she abandoned the Light Fae after saving Dyson from Dr. Taft. In some rather uncharacteristic words from Kenzi, she refers to Lauren as her only “human ally.” Kenzi misses Lauren – and I’m sure that viewers are also wondering where in the world is Doctor Lewis.

Kenzi is asking Trick about Fae who have the power to remove memories, and in his magical Rolodex, he produces a name: Dr. Snook, a Fish Fae who works as an optometrist. Kenzi also calls Trick “Gramps” which seems to take both of them off guard for a moment.

Back to Trick for a moment, who is packing up some items. Among them, we see the Tarot-style Wanderer card as it was in the Season Three finale – with Bo at his side. I still have my ideas as to who Bo’s papa is from my knowledge of mythological beings that have been referred to as “The Wanderer,” but I’m not certain if we’ll be learning any more about that any time soon.

Kenzi and Dyson head over to Dr Snook’s office and force their way into Snook’s examination room, where they see Snook removing the memory of a cheating husband from the mind of a designer-clad Real Housewife of Fae County. They ask Snook if he was the one responsible for removing Aoife’s memories, and Snook tells them that Snook only takes away memories (yes, Snook constantly and annoyingly refers to himself in the third person), and doesn’t restore them. According to Snook, Kenzi and Dyson are also missing memories, and Snook isn’t responsible. The mark in the eye is like a distinct signature that changes based on who is doing the erasing. (Anyone else singing, “Memories … in the corner of my eye,” or rather lack of memories!) As I suspected, this explains why they don’t remember Bo! And the Fae responsible is someone far more skilled than Snook.

Kenzi returns to Trick’s and fills him in on the info from Snook. Trick tells Kenzi how they can get their memories back. There’s a special compass that was lost off the coast of Madagascar, but someone has paid a lot of money to have it recovered – Engelram, “The Collector.” This is the same wealthy Dark Fae who is about to throw one last big blowout before the Una Mens descend upon them with their lack of fun and folly (and suddenly, I’m picturing John Lithgow circa “Footloose” as the leader of the Una Mens telling everyone that dancing is forbidden). Kenzi texts Dyson to try to score tickets to Engelram’s soiree, and then tries to make a quick exit until Trick asks if she’s forgetting something. Kenzi has fallen upon hard times and is trying to steal some knick-knacks from Trick to fence for cash. The photo of Bo comes out along with the items that Kenzi produces from her purse, and Trick has an uncontrollable shaking reaction to it. He asks Kenzi to share everything she knows about her client.

Evony, a.k.a. The Morrigan, has met her demise and our new Dark Fae leader is none other than Vex! Is there anything more delicious than his remark to a hapless seamstress: “When I say design me one last costume befitting the Dark Fae leader, why do you hear dress me like an asexual hobo.” Vex nearly forces the woman to burn her own face with an iron when Dyson enters. In another award-winning line from the episode, Vex refers to Dyson as “Marmaduke!”

Vex has made everyone believe that Evony died on the porcelain throne and named Vex heir to her other throne. Dyson demands Vex’s tickets to Engelram’s party and if Vex doesn’t comply, Dyson is going to tell everyone that Evony is not really dead – just imprisoned behind a wall in Vex’s office.

Dyson and Hale arrive at Engelram’s ball, and revellers are dancing to music that brings snake charmers to mind. In a moment of exposition, Hale tells Dyson that every year at Engelram’s ball, one lady is chosen to meet the “elusive Collector” who also happens to be a wish granter.

At the loft, Kenzi is having a fashion emergency as she prepares for the ball, and actually calls Lauren, but doesn’t get an answer. Kenzi leaves a message for the Doc saying she wanted some advice on “colour blocking” and hopes that Lauren is safe. Sleazy, slimy Massimo the Druid shows up with a crossbow and Kenzi’s secret weapon, the Spark Extract – straight from the genitals of a Sprite – that has been giving her the fake Fae powers. Kenzi had gone to Massimo and asked him to make her Fae but he tricked her. She’s also in his debt for previous sparkle juice orders, and he suggests that she can pay in other ways. I really hope that in a future episode that Kenzi makes him suffer.

Kenzi is fashionably late to the ball in the most va va va voom dress EVER. Some other females have already attracted Engelram’s attentions, but Kenzi thinks that she can still win. Her plan – the tango! Kenzi grabs Hale and he’s not the greatest dance partner, but Dyson comes to the rescue, leading to a sizzling, sexy dance threesome. Again, I have that icky Lannister feeling but I can’t deny just how awesome Kenzi and Dyson look together. I guess it takes three to tango in the world of the Fae! The dance garners the attention of Engelram and Kenzi heads off to The Collector’s private chambers.

Engelram ends up being none other than much-hyped guest star George Takei, who is some type of Serpent Fae. Now that snake charmer-esque music really makes sense!

Back in the ballroom, Vex makes a grand entrance – think Dr. Frank-N-Furter from the Rocky Horror Picture Show meets a flamboyant Will Shakespeare, in PVC, Elizabethan ruffles and stilettos! He announces to the crowd that the Una Mens are coming, and demands Dyson come forward. Vex clears the room when he uses his Mesmer powers on an unsuspecting female.

Engelram makes his way toward Kenzi in his chambers and hisses that he is but a “humble gatherer of Fae memorabilia” to which Kenzi replies, “Slow your roll, Slytherin.” Sulu the Serpent says he wants to look inside Kenzi and grant her what she desires most. Kenzi asks for the compass, and Engelram is surprised. “That’s it?” he asks. They exchange some skin care tips (which aren’t as great as Kenzi/Vex cosmetic convos), and the Collector adds, “I merely thought the little human would wish for HER return.” Kenzi replies with a despaired “No” followed by a “What?” He’s referring to Bo, of course. Now that he granted her wish, he’s planning to swallow her whole.

Somebody call 911 because out on the dancefloor, Dyson and Vex are about to have a standoff. I need to be upfront about this – I am not a “shipper” when it comes to this or any series, but if there is any hot TV pairing at the moment, it’s Dyson and Vex. Also, I’m a bit jealous that Paul Amos walks in heels better than I do. Vex’s memories have been altered as well and that he figured it out ages ago. Vex also did terrible things to get his Mesmer back. Hale returns and we get a Siren/Mesmer standoff. Hale is really ticked off and unleashes a Siren-storm on Vex. Apparently Vex betrayed Kenzi to the Una Mens. Vex, how could you?

Kenzi is still trying to escape Engelram and tries to get her spark on. When she goes to apply more of the Spark Extract, she only finds a note in the jar from Massimo that says “Pay me.” Dyson comes to Kenzi’s rescue, pinning Engelram’s snake half to a wall and immobilizing the Collector. Time for the signature Takei “Oh my!”

Kenzi has the compass and before she and Dyson use it, they have a heart to heart about always being there for each other. For a moment, they contemplate not restoring their memories, but Kenzi knows that the status quo isn’t right and it hasn’t been for a while. The compass is activated, they look at each other, and they say “BO” at the same time.

Aoife is on the prowl for unsuspecting sailors during Fleet Week and has a surprise reunion with her daddy, Trick! Their memories also return, and someone clearly has some daddy issues. Although Trick says he’ll help Aoife find Bo, Aoife lunges at him with a knife and says that all that has kept her alive is her hatred for him.

Vex and Hale have also regained their memories, and we are treated to a brief reunion of “Mascara Chat with Vex and Kenzi” before they get down to the task at hand – finding Bo. Dyson’s alarm sounds and he heads back to the scene of his and Tamsin’s accident.

The final few moments play out like this:
– There’s a basket with black goo oozing out of it. Is this what Kenzi nearly had her hands on at the start of the episode?
– We finally see Lauren, who is disguised as a red-haired waitress named Amber. Her memory has also come back and she is overcome with emotion over Bo.
– There’s a close up on what appears to be Bo’s eyes opening, and they’re blue as if she just fed on some yummy chi.

Wow. That was quite the season opener!

Some random thoughts:

– “I have like 80 thongs.” How many thongs does one girl need, Kenzi?
– “Friends to the end. Bros before hos. Pals at the Dal” – I predict Faenatics will be adopting this catch phrase immediately!
– We barely got a glimpse of Lauren in this episode. I’m going to assume that she’s in hiding because she’s on the Una Mens’ hit list alongside Kenzi. Also – I really dig the red hair!
– Speaking of the Una Mens, who else is terrified of these creepy dudes?
– There was zero Tamsin. I’d really like to see that Valkyrie again soon.
– After surviving Taft’s lab, Aoife is alive and well and not happy with her daddy, Trick. I am not certain of her motives in trying to find Bo, and don’t trust her at all. The woman is trouble!
– Mia Kirshner was delightful as the Nymph, Cleo. Can we have more of her, please?
– What kind of lingering awkwardness will there be as a result of what everyone was doing while Bo was wiped from their minds?
– How long will we have to wait to learn where exactly Bo is, and see her reunion with the rest of the gang?

What did you think of the Lost Girl Season 4 premiere? Sound off in the comments below!

Photo Courtesy of Showcase

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