Bunheads: No One Takes Khaleesi’s Dragons

“No One Takes Khaleesi’s Dragons” wins my personal prize for “best Bunheads episode title” hands down. It starts with Michelle waiting in the world’s longest coffee line at a newly reopened cafe run by none other than Gilmore Girls‘s ubiquitous Kirk. (We seem to be calling him Sebastian here.) He’s an award-winning barista, but he’s completely ridiculous, selecting coffee beans one at a time and refusing to take orders: “I don’t subscribe to the ‘customer gets to choose’ thing.” Sebastian – “Bash” – insists that the owner is always right. “Who’s got the coffee?” “You.” “Who wants the coffee?” “Me.” “I don’t think we need to be discussing the power dynamic any further.”

Because of the ridiculous coffee situation, Michelle is delighted to hear that a fancy new supermarket that includes a coffee chain is coming to town – but she soon finds out that the Paradise planning committee is blocking it on a zoning technicality. She and Boo are determined to change this. “They’re not taking Khaleesi’s dragons!” Or her coffee, apparently. Michelle tricks people into coming to a meeting at the studio, and while she doesn’t change minds about the supermarket, she does meet hot Godot from the Oyster Bar. (Remember him?) They’re immediately attracted to each other, but because of the difference in their ages and life philosophies (“Nothing is under your control. You just gotta let things happen.” “Well, here’s my philosophy: I believe in controlling everything. And putting cheese on stuff.”), Michelle insists she can’t go out with him. “We’ll see,” Godot says. And then, at the very end of the episode, a coffee maker magically appears outside Michelle’s home. Godot? Hmm.

At the studio, Fanny is holding Nutcracker auditions, and is making girls dance for hours while she tries to find a Clara to replace Sasha. The other girls miss Sasha, but she claims to like cheerleading, especially the free time it provides: “We only practice an hour a day. Less if anyone has cramps or zits.” She even has time for the Internet and TV. “And the best part is, I don’t even have to multitask while watching it! I can just sit there! Like someone in the Midwest!” But when the girls show up to support Sasha as she cheers at a game, it’s clear that things aren’t as rosy as Sasha implied. The head cheerleader yells at Sasha for kicking too high and making the other girls look bad, and Sasha soon becomes frustrated that they’re cheering and praising the team even though they’re playing terribly. “How about we cheer ‘Stay in school, learn algebra, you have no future in sports’?” Heh.

The girls’ complicated romantic situations intensify this episode, as Ginny is suddenly awkward around Charlie and Boo tries to deal with her feelings toward Carl. Because of the way her friends treated him last episode, Carl avoids Boo and threatens to quit dancing, but she finally gets him to talk. She admits that she likes him and they kiss – but her friends catch them, and Boo gets into a conversation about her unresolved feelings about Charlie in front of Carl, so poor Carl leaves. Mel has finally figured out that Ginny’s recent weird behavior is because of Charlie – “You’ve been acting fifty shades of cray-cray recently” – and insists that Ginny can’t date Charlie because Boo liked him first. Even though Boo now wants Carl, who may no longer want Boo, because he heard her talk about Charlie. Got it?

Meanwhile, Michelle is considering trying to get in touch with an old friend who is now a choreographer casting a show, and while Fanny is slightly surprised that Michelle is considering going back into performing, she encourages Michelle to make the call. But after call after call in which the guy’s assistant insists he’s unavailable, Michelle finally realizes that her old friend has no intention of talking to her or giving her a job. Aww. But she manages to leverage the experience into talking some sense into Sasha. She convinces Sasha that Fanny will never apologize and tells her bluntly that quitting ballet now would be a really stupid mistake. “Life is unfair. Deal with it.” One of my favorite things about this show is the way that the adult characters are consistently honest about how their mistakes messed up their lives: no “It worked out for the best” or “This must be where I’m supposed to be.” And in this case, Sasha seems receptive, so things are looking good for a reunion of our favorite ballerinas by the end of the season.

Some more favorite lines:
“I’ve got trig.” “Hope it’s not contagious.”
“I have two dads. Don’t assume.”
“That’s the devil’s brew.” “The devil has good taste.”
“They have bottomless mimosas here, which I really just see as a challenge.”
“Why aren’t you up there?” “Sprained my spirit.”
“Are those jumps?” “Sad when you have to ask.”

(Image courtesy of ABC Family.)

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