Witches of East End: The Fall of the House of Beauchamp

Witches of East End

Usually, I am a fan of Witches of East End because it’s one of the most bonkers shows on television. I mean, there was a full arc revolving around a tentacle sex monster. Yet “The Fall of the House of Beauchamp” was relatively light on the crazy shenanigans. Sure, people came back from the dead and got stalked by voodoo statues and Bianca Lawson is back as Eva’s great-granddaughter / look-alike. However, all of this stuff was mostly on the sidelines as the majority of the episode dealt with people mourning Ingrid and Freya’s dead status at the beginning of the episode. This episode was probably the darkest of the young series so far, and it definitely was the most depressing.

Mourning Ingrid and Freya wasn’t all the episode has on its mind though, as the episode also worked to set up a new status quo for the rest of the season. King Grandpa is alive and claiming to want to make amends with his daughters. Dash is hooking up with the FBI agent who is investigating him for murder. Freya and Ingrid are back and on different sides of the family divide. Killian is traipsing around New York doing whatever it is that his subplot is supposed to be. Just like last week’s episode felt like a finale, this episode felt a lot like a premiere: setting up a bunch of arcs for the rest of the season to play with. I’m worried about how this three episode mini-season is going to work in the long run, but I have hopes that the rest of the season will be a breakneck thrill-ride. If it is, the conclusion of this Witches of East End season may be the strongest stretch of episodes of the series yet.

I’m getting ahead of myself though, let’s get to what is really important: the Most Valuable Witches rankings for this week.

Wendy

This week’s top spot was the easiest to decide by far. Because if Wendy wasn’t in this episode, every other character would be dead due to suicide attempts and alcohol poisoning after Freya and Ingrid’s deaths. She saves Joanna from her suicide attempt and brings her fighting spirit back. She does whatever it takes to get Freya and Ingrid back and that includes some icky stuff like saying “please” to Tarkoff and seeing her current love Tommy get turned into her father. She even offers up her last life to save one of the girls if it would help ease Joanna’s mind at all. Wendy is the heart and soul and fire of this episode, and she’s the engine that makes it work. Without her, this episode of Witches of East End would actually be the most depressing hour of television of all time (which says something in a world where The Leftovers exists). Thank you, Wendy, for your service to this episode and to your family and for your amazing hair while performing both. It is appreciated.

Joanna

If these rankings were about who was the most valuable performer of the week, Julia Ormond would be walking away with first place easily. She does a great job showing us Joanna’s grief, especially during the stripped down, mortifying scene of her suicide attempt in the bathtub. And it’s understandable why Joanna is so upset for most of the episode: two of her daughters are dead, and her son apparently betrayed her again. Things are rough for Joanna.

But after a good pep talk from Wendy, Joanna is able to rebound with aplomb. She stands up for herself when Grandpa King shows his face again and she jumps into action in working against him immediately after Ingrid and Freya are reanimated. You can’t keep a good witch down for too long and Joanna is the picture perfect example of that.

Killian

I don’t know what is even going on with Killian anymore. He’s in love with Eva. He’s getting mindraped by Eva. He’s freaked out about being mindraped by Eva. He totally loves Eva again even though she was awful to him. He’s in love with Freya who is his soul mate. He’s not. He likes Dash. He hates Dash. He’s going to New York because voodoo dolls are stalking him with messages from Eva? I need someone to tell me where Killian is at emotionally, because to me he’s richocheting all over the map like a goddamn pong ball.

And yet, even though Killian is a mess of a character, he’s probably the best male character for this week. He’s definitely the most proactive one going to New York to study the voodoo dolls and going to investigate the deaths of Freya and Ingrid as soon as he hears about it. And he gets to flounce around about being morally superior to Dash for once. It’s not a great week for Killian, but it’s apparently good enough to land him in the middle of this week’s rankings.

Frederick

I’m still over Frederick and his role on the show as a constant possible-betrayer of the family, but he doesn’t deserve to be ranked last this week. He helped Wendy bring Ingrid and Freya back from the dead. He reminded us all that Killian has a dark Asgardian past. He got drunk and called Killian out on being the destructive influence he is. Those are all positives. Was his speech to Joanna about King Grandpa totally being good again really frustrating? Absolutely. Was it super annoying that he failed at killing Tarkoff for the 973rd time? Totally. And for the most part, he’s the whiny, mopey mess he always is. But he’s not the biggest disaster this week. That honor goes to …

Dash

Oh, Dash. We are on a rollercoaster here. You were last, then you were first, and now you are last again. Here’s my question for you though: did you take Killian’s stupid pills? Did the fight leave you with a traumatic brain injury that’s made you act insane? Because you weren’t using your head at all during this episode. You decide to go to your brother who just fought you over your attempted murder of him for advice on covering up another murder. You sleep with Sarah Lancaster of Chuck mere hours after finding out Ingrid was dead (so cold, Dash). You also keep calling her for more rough sex even though she is going to be investigating you for murder soon. Oh, Dash. That’s all I can really say. Oh, Dash.

Ingrid / Freya

As the spent most of the episode dead (they literally don’t get brought back to life until the last ten minutes of the episode), I figured it would be unfair to rank them this week. Yes, they made some big decisions at the end of the episode, but we haven’t seen the consequences of them yet so I didn’t want to take them into account when I was putting this list together.

On the whole, I give the episode props for being ballsy enough to keep them out of the picture for so long. They are the heart of the show and all. But their absence was important in exploring the other characters, and I’m glad this episode really explored how their deaths would affect everyone.

A few more things:

  • Does Witches of East End run a Saved by the Bell: The New Class rehabilitation program? Not only is Bianca Lawson still on the show as the newly introduced great-granddaughter of Eva, but we now have Sarah Lancaster as the terribly named Raven Munroe, who will be banging Dash while investigating him for murder.
  • I can’t decide if I hate Raven irrationally for ruining Dash and Ingrid’s relationship, or admire her for her sexual confidence. (It’s obviously both.)
  • An actor is never done with being a part of Witches of East End apparently, as James Marsters and Bianca Lawson both return after their presumed exits last week. Well, an actor is never done being a part of Witches of East End unless they are Freddie Prinze Jr. Come back, Freddie Prinze, Jr. You were so hot!
  • No seriously, those statues following Killian around were terrifying. There’s a horror movie waiting to be written about them.
  • “You can go to hell, but I won’t help you get there.” What a cheesy walk-off line, Killian. What a cheesy walk-off line that I would probably use.
  • So Freya, Wendy and Joanna will be in the Old West next week if I read the last scene correctly. That seems … interesting? We’ll see.

Photo Courtesy of Lifetime

About Kacey

Kacey is well-known (in her own mind) for her amazing ability to sit through her bad pop culture, her endless love for made-for-TV Christmas movies and her endless quest to be the sassy sidekick in somebody's romantic comedy. You can follow her on twitter at @kaceybange and see her other pop culture writing at POPCULTURECRAZY.