Witches of East End: Smells Like King Spirit

Witches of East End

That felt like a finale, didn’t it? While there are still four more episodes left in the current season of Witches of East End, the latest episode spent a lot of time wrapping up a lot of the season’s major arcs while introducing a bevy of fantastical cliffhangers. Tarkoff and Eva are no longer threats. Frederick is officially on the side of the good. The body Dash and Ingrid stored in the ocean just popped up for anyone to find. The King is going to reside in Wendy’s current love, Tommy.

Oh, and Ingrid and Freya are dead. That was a doozy of an ending seeing them hanging there like that while Joanna went apeshit.

A lot happened in “Smells Like King Spirit,” which was jam-packed with moments both great and iffy on a dramatically satisfying scale. So let’s get into it, the only way these recaps know how, with a ranking of our Most Valuable Witches.

Dash

From worst to first, Dash, how does it feel? Though with that body popping up in the ocean, I doubt you’ll be hanging in this position for long. Still, you got a lot done in this episode. You were briefly a rage-induced alcoholic destroyed by Ingrid leaving you behind. Then you became a detective and finally got the 411 from Ingrid on your past lives (and you had a hilarious reaction to finding out you almost may have slept with your grandmother). After that you became a repentant man, burning evil spellbooks and coming clean to Killian about what you’ve done wrong. And then you completely went back on that and got into a crazy slo-mo fight with your brother when that apology didn’t go over as well as you wanted. It was another brilliant ride on the crazy train that is Dash, and I enjoyed every second of it!

And you didn’t make Ingrid cry! You were only a little too clingy in your apologies! What progress! I’m so proud.

Ingrid

Ingrid didn’t have as much ground to gain, and frankly she’s probably tied for first with Dash in my heart for the week, but I wanted to write that up separately so she’ll have to deal with being 1A for the week.

Ingrid didn’t get as much to this week as Dash did, but she remained a solid supporting player throughout. She called Freya out on her craziness, and tried to set Dash on the good path again. Sadly, Tarkoff took her out relatively early in the episode so we didn’t get to see more of her, which is always a shame.

The reason why I rank Ingrid so highly though is because for a brief second we got the hint that Ingrid and Dash may be in a much darker version of Freya and Killian’s soulmate cycle. Instead of falling in love and falling apart though, Ingrid and Dash are bound to fall in love and become evil together. This revelation raises my hopes so high that if we get a Season 3 of Witches of East End, Ingrid and Dash can become the evil power couple I have always wanted them to be. Justified is ending soon, Lifetime, and we need someone to inherit Ava and Boyd’s position as the Bonnie and Clyde of cable TV! Why not Ingrid and Dash? Why not?

Freya

“I’m a smart stalker lady and a badass witch!” is the line of the season, and it was obvious that Freya could have ranked highly on this week’s rankings for that caffeine-induced proclamation alone.

Yet Freya did not rest on her caffeine-induced laurels. She was the one who finally got proactive about finding out what Eva was doing and getting something done about it. She told Killian about what was going on, and gave support to his decision either way. She even tried to bring Eva back from her old age induced death even though she was kind-of evil and definitely stealing her man. Not to mention Freya being the one to finally find out that Frederick was a red coat on the family and working for Tarkoff all along. Freya was getting shit done all over the place this episode, and I hope she remains being a badass witch when she eventually comes back to life. (I’m assuming she’s gonna come back to life, because she has to, right?)

Joanna

I would have ranked Joanna higher, but she clearly let Tarkoff get the better of her during the showdown. I was expecting better of her, especially since everyone won’t shut up about how great of a witch she is. Show us more than spunk and dead scorpions, Joanna! That moment were you threw a scorpion at the son who betrayed you was awe-inspiring!

However while she wasn’t the best at getting shit done during the episode, Julia Ormond did a great job at showing the over the top emotions of seeing her two daughters dead once again. I’m expecting good things to come for you, Joanna. Be the badass I always hoped you could be.

Killian

Oh, sweet, dumb Killian. What’s a girl to do with you. On the one hand, I am so glad you are finally rid of that tiresome Eva and her mind control arc. I was also very excited by your justified rage at your brother and your super cool, badly FXed fight. But to get these moments we all had to deal with more of your constant penchant for being completely stupid. Please start learning from your brother and the other lady witches you are always hanging out with and become a more active member of the story at large. I would super appreciate it.

Wendy

Wendy didn’t do much this episode, except say “Yeah!” after all of Joanna’s proclamations when taking down Frederick and Tarkoff and have sex with Tommy at the beginning of the episode. Also, Wendy was very upset that Tommy was getting abused and used by the King, but she has to know that never would have happened if she did a memory spell on him. The current shenanigans happening your boyfriend are at least 40 percent your fault, Wendy! Own up to it!

Frederick

I mean, sure, he killed Tarkoff with the scorpions and that was a super gross and slightly satisfying moment. On the whole though, I am so over Frederick at this point. Is he good? Is he bad? Can we trust him? Can we not trust him? At this point, I just don’t care and I’m ready for him to go away and never come back.

A few more things:

  • Goodbye Eva. You gave us tons of kinky sex, the secret to Bianca Lawson’s youth, and the weirdness of someone calling their daughter “abuela”. For all those things you should probably be commended, even if the storyline got super repetitive after a while.
  • It was super great to see some sibling interaction happening again. Yes, Dash and Killian’s bonding didn’t end up going so well, but Freya and Ingrid’s scene was very cute and much-needed breather in between all of the non-stop crazy happening.
  • RIP Tarkoff. You tortured people as if you just finished watching Reservoir Dogs, and that was amusing. You also always wore the same suit. I’ll miss your menacing moments, and I won’t miss your Nice Guy ones. (You were going to buy Joanna?)
  • The slow-motion expression Freya makes when finding out that Frederick was secretly evil was gold. It was gold. That too probably secured her such a high spot in the rankings.
  • So Tommy is the King now. It’s a bit of an obvious development, but at least it means that we won’t have to deal with the endless plot to find a body for the King.

Photo Courtesy of Lifetime

About Kacey

Kacey is well-known (in her own mind) for her amazing ability to sit through her bad pop culture, her endless love for made-for-TV Christmas movies and her endless quest to be the sassy sidekick in somebody's romantic comedy. You can follow her on twitter at @kaceybange and see her other pop culture writing at POPCULTURECRAZY.