The mystery itself is fairly thin, when it comes down to it. When famous dog trainer Francisco Pilar is found murdered – strangled by a leash – at a dog show he’s judging, all clues lead to Kay Cappuccio, a barely-veiled Kim Kardashian figure played by guest star Hilarie Burton. The team finally figures out that Pilar had a sideline training drug-sniffing dogs, and the Argentinian Vasquez heroin cartel felt threatened. Kay’s boyfriend Reggie Starr, who was trying to get in good with the Vasquez family, hid a surveillance camera in Kay’s dog’s collar and arranged for Pilar to train the dog in order to get the opportunity to spy on him. When Pilar figured out that he was under surveillance, Reggie killed him.

The relatively slight mystery leaves plenty of times for adorable dogs, Jason Bateman jokes, and Esposito falling into a bit of puppy love himself with Kay. It’s unexpected but really nicely done when he’s the one who breaks through Kay’s reality show exterior to reveal that she’s actually insecure and lonely. She seems to like him, too, and promises to call if she ever has issues with the paparazzi, so I hope that means they’re open to bringing Hilarie Burton back for another episode in the future.

Pilar’s dog Royal is found near Pilar’s body, and Castle suggests that he might have attacked Pilar’s murderer, so they take the dog back to the precinct to swab his mouth for DNA. Once he’s there, of course, Castle wants to keep him. Castle: “We could use a mascot.” Esposito: “I thought that’s what you were.” Heh. Beckett agrees to keep Royal around until they find him a good home, and she and Castle both want to take him home for the night. They apparently can’t hear the millions of shippers screaming that the obvious solution is for them to all go home together, so they agree to share custody. This leads to an extremely cute scene when Castle dropped Royal off at Beckett’s house and Beckett resigns herself to being the strict parents after discovering that Castle gave the dog steak and let him cuddle on the couch. (Of course, she gives in on the couch issue as soon as Castle leaves.) And Castle and Beckett have a Moment when he holds her hand a little too long as he tries to demonstrate the way Royal likes to be rubbed between the eyes. At the end of the episode, they decide to let Royal decide who he wants to live with – but instead of either of them, Royal runs to Kay. Aww.

Alexis is gone for most of the episode – off visiting colleges with her unfortunately named friend, Buttons Dutton – but when she returns at the end, Castle announces that he wants to get her the dog he always denied her when she was a child. She shoots him down, claiming that it’s just a ploy to get her to visit more often once she leaves for college, but I wonder if part of it was a ploy to get Beckett to visit more often, too.

Next time: The long-awaited noir episode!

(Photo courtesy of ABC.)

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All of this navel gazing and moping has not escaped the notice of King George, who lays down the law with his faux son. Whoever this trollop is, get her out of your heart and focus on Abigail … you know … or else!

Both James and Snow know things can’t continue this way. Snow wrangles Rumpelstiltskin’s name from Red Riding Hood and goes to visit him on a foggy river in the dead of night. In exchange for one lock of her hair (what’s up with that?) he gives her a potion that will cure her heartache. Once she drinks it, she won’t remember Prince James or how he made her heart pitter pat. But James has a different plan. He’s willing to risk his neck for the chance to be with his true love. He writes Snow a letter declaring his undying love and implores her to come to him before his wedding if she feels the same way.

I’m a big fan of the Snow/James love story, but I can’t help feeling like a piece of the story is missing. When they last left each other, there were definitely sparks, but I didn’t get the sense that they were hopelessly in love with each other yet. I would have liked a little more lead-up to their romantic devotion.

Snow receives James’ letter on the wings of a dove and rushes off joyfully for a romantic tryst. She manages to sneak into the castle unnoticed, but is intercepted by one of the King’s Guards and thrown into the dungeon. There she meets Grumpy, a dwarf in the same predicament. He scoffs at her ‘love will conquer all’ attitude as she tries to find a way out. He’s been stuck in this dank hole since he was tricked into selling a stolen diamond to the mine foreman. There is no way out. Never say never – at that moment Grumpy’s dwarf friend Stealthy shows up to unlock the cell. Grumpy begrudgingly gets him to release Snow as well. She tries to convince them to go up the stairs and over the wall instead of through the courtyard but they don’t listen. Stealthy ends up dead and Grumpy is surrounded by guards. Snow selflessly offers herself up to the King to spare his life.

Once the King has Snow White alone, he offers her a truly horrible ultimatum. Go to James and tell him she doesn’t love him. Crush his heart or King George will kill him. “You would do that to your own son?” “He’s not my son.” Snow has to lose James to save him. She meets him in his room and he embraces her with an outpouring of emotion. She stops him, tells him that they’ll never be together because she doesn’t love him, and walks away … desperately holding in her sobs. Snow feels completely destroyed, but she won’t be alone. She is taken in by Grumpy and his 6 dwarf friends who promise to take care of her while she nurses her pain.

In Storybrooke, David and Mary Margaret are also having a difficult time keeping their distance. Every morning they both rush to the coffee shop for 7:15, where they ‘accidentally’ cross paths. He grabs a coffee for work while she sits at a table reading a book. They exchange pleasantries and small talk, leaving each other more hopeless and lovelorn than before. Mary Margaret’s pain deepens when she bumps into Katherine in the drug store and knocks a pregnancy test right out of her hand. Oh dear. Regina, who is shopping with her ‘dear friend’, smirks at Mary and asks her to ‘be discreet’.

Mary Margaret goes walking in the woods to clear her head and stumbles upon a Northern Atlantic dove caught in a net. She takes her to the local animal shelter, where David just happens to be working. The dove is uninjured, but if she isn’t returned to her flock she’ll be alone forever. Mary Margaret isn’t going to let an innocent dove feel as lost and lonely as she does, so she rushes out into an impending storm to return the dove to the forest. While out in the woods, she slips and falls over the side of a cliff, grasping desperately on to a hanging tree root. David appears just in time to rescue her and they take refuge in a nearby cabin as the rain starts to pour down. “You really think I’d let you come out here alone?” They both confess their desires and it’s all they can do to keep their lips off each other. But Mary Margaret forces herself to pull back and remind him of his wife’s ‘condition’. David has no idea that his wife could be pregnant! He’s so torn. “It’s like I have two conflicting lives, memories of feelings for her, and real feelings for you.”

The rain stops, Mary Margaret releases the lost dove to her circling flock, and sadly tells David they have no choice but to forget each other. David goes home to his wife, who is not pregnant but wants them to go to therapy. He agrees and tells her he still genuinely wants to makes things work. At 7:10 in the morning, both he and Mary Margaret skip their usual rendezvous at the coffee shop. And yet … their efforts to not see each other are futile. At 7:45 they both show up at the coffee place, thinking they’ve safely avoided a meeting. David tells Mary Margaret that Katherine is not pregnant and they end up in a passionate lip-lock in the middle of the street. Regina watches from her parked car, quietly seething.

David is kind of a douchebag. I want to like him, but he doesn’t seem to have a spine. Every time he makes a ‘decision’ he’s completely swayed the next time a whim strikes him. He decides to leave his wife and meet Mary Margaret and then changes his mind when he remembers his past. He decides to stay with his wife, but then tries to kiss Mary Margaret in the cabin. He returns home to his wife and decides to renew his commitment to her and vows to make it work … and then makes out in public with Mary Margaret. Come on, buddy. Make an actual choice already!!!

Back in the Enchanted Forest, Prince James has decided not to take no for an answer. He cancels his wedding and rides off looking for Snow White. Word reaches Grumpy, who excitedly wakes Snow to tell her the news. All she can say is, “Who?” Rumpelstiltskin’s potion vial lies empty on a nearby table. Oh. No.

There was a really nice scene between Snow and Grumpy earlier in the episode when she first brought out the vial and threatened to drink it. Grumpy told her that he wouldn’t trade his pain even though it hurt like hell because it made him who he is. He convinced Snow to fight through it and only drink the potion as a last resort. Guess the last resort came too soon. She drank it without telling anyone.

Interesting Tidbits

-Snow mentions to Red that “I helped you when no one else would.” What exactly did she do for her? Cut her out of a big bad wolf? I still find it weird that Little Red Riding Hood is a 20-something year old woman … who looks kinda slutty. It’s disconcerting.

-The C plot in the episode was about the new stranger in town. Regina enlists Emma’s help in investigating him because she’s worried he seems to be taking an interest in Henry … or so she claims. I would LOVE to know what she really thinks about the appearance of an unknown in her cursed town. In fact, I would really love to see things from her perspective more often. The only time we’ve really gotten inside her head was when she crushed Graham’s heart. We see her being bitchy and manipulative all the time, and we know that she has all her memories – but we aren’t really privy to her thought process. After being really, really creepy and mysterious for a while, the Stranger finally tells Emma that he’s in town to write and produces an old typewriter from a beat-up wooden case. Emma accepts a drink invitation in exchange for the information. Seriously, I don’t know what is UP with this dude! I couldn’t tell whether he was genuinely hitting on her or whether he was a sociopath. Either way, I’m still creeped out.

Photo Courtesy of ABC

In Storybrooke, Henry inadvertently made friends with a couple of mini-sized miscreants at the general store and got caught in a shoplifting scandal. Regina assures the store manager that her son had no part in it and drags him home. Newly appointed mayor, Emma, is left to deal with the culprits – a twin brother and sister. They swear they were only stealing because their family has fallen on hard times. But Emma catches them in a lie and discovers they are actually homeless. Their mother recently passed away and they’ve been living on the streets of Storybrooke ever since. They have no idea who their father is.

Emma, a former foster child herself, immediately feels a connection to the two children. She knows they have no chance of staying together if Child Protective Services get involved. Maybe if she can locate the twins’ long lost father, he would take them instead? But Regina screws up her plans by sticking her perfectly powdered nose into the case and taking a ‘special interest’ in the children. She calls social services herself and demands that Emma drive the children to Boston to hand them over to a representative. It’s for their own good … those, poor, poor little children. Ummm … do people usually smirk that much when they feel sympathy for someone?

So now Emma has less than a few hours to find the twins’ father or be forced to ship them out of town. The only clue she has is a pocket watch that the twins carry with them. Their mother told them it belonged to their father. Emma goes straight to Mr. Gold’s shop and after some light groveling he looks through his meticulous records and reads the name Michael Tillman off a card. He purchased the watch there nearly a decade ago. After Emma leaves, there is a shot of the card and it’s revealed to be completely blank. I am still itching to know exactly how much Rumpel knows about the fairytale past. I think it’s clear that if he doesn’t know EVERYthing, he certainly knows a lot. How did he manage to hold onto his memories when the curse wiped everyone else’s? He must have foreseen it because he made the Evil Queen swear to do him any favours in the new reality. What is his angle in all of this?

Emma tracks Michael down at the local mechanic shop and confronts him with the truth. He denies that he has twins, but recognizes his watch immediately. Emma begs him to step up and take them in – but he’s not ready to do it. He apologizes, but says he’s not father material. Does anyone else think it’s a little convenient that people in this tiny town are able to exist without coming into contact with everyone else? Katherine’s husband was in a coma for years and she had no idea he was slumbering a few blocks away? Michael has twins who grew up in town and he’s never crossed paths with them or their mother since their birth? I’m not usually a stickler for small details, but this one bugs me for some reason. They’re portraying Storybrooke as place where ‘everyone knows everything about everyone’ … except when it’s inconvenient for plot devices. Come on!

Back in The Enchanted Forest, the young twins Hansel and Gretel, were very close to their father. They would spend hours with him in the woods, helping with the chores. But one day, after they filled their wheelbarrow with kindling, they returned to their meeting spot to find their father missing. Instead, they cross paths with the Evil Queen’s entourage. Her royal highness herself descends from her carriage and sizes them up. She offers to help them find their father … on one condition. She needs them to sneak into a witch’s house and retrieve a tiny black satchel for her.

She leads them to a clearing in the woods and sends them on their mission with a warning – no matter how much they’re tempted, they can’t eat anything! Hansel and Gretel tiptoe into the gingerbread house where the witch is sleeping in front of the fire. The little black bag is right in their grasp and Gretel sneaks quietly over to snatch it. She’s clearly the bossy twin, which probably works out quite well because poor Hansel seems a little dim. So much so that even after Gretel repeatedly reminds him it’s not snack time, he can’t resist taking a bite out of a giant cupcake when her back is turned. The instant the bright blue frosting passes his lips, the Witch abruptly wakes from her slumber. She’s blind … but she can smell dinner! All the doors and windows slam closed and Hansel and Gretel find themselves trapped. The witch is played by a nearly unrecognizable Emma Caulfield. I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t even notice until my boyfriend pointed it out. I love seeing all my Buffy alums in quirky roles!

The witch locks them in a cage and starts salivating over all the delicious topping options for roast little children. Hansel is freaking out, but Gretel immediately starts formulating a plan (I told you she was the useful one). She puffs out her cheeks and impersonates her brother when the Witch picks him as her first meal. Then she reaches into the witches pocket and tosses the key to Hansel who unlocks the cage door. And of course they manage to shove the witch into her own oven and bring that fairytale to its natural conclusion.

Hansel and Gretel arrive at the Evil Queen’s palace and present her with the tiny black satchel. She reaches in and pulls out a beautiful ripe, red apple. I like how all the fairy tales are interweaving and connecting to each other. Impressed by the resourcefulness of the twins, she decides to change their reward. Why would they want to find a father who abandoned them when they could come live with her in an opulent castle instead? They turn her down flat. They just want their daddy. She does some whoosh whoosh thing and zaps them into the middle of the forest with no way to find their bearings. Then she drags their father in from the dungeons. He didn’t so much ‘abandon’ his children as he was dragged away from them. She demands to know why his children would turn down her very generous offer, because she’s heartless and knows nothing about family. Family belongs together and will always find their way back to each other.

Back in Storybrooke, with no options left, Emma packs the twins up and sets off for Boston. Henry begs her not to go because bad things happen when people try to leave town. The only disaster that strikes is Emma pulling the old ‘car breaking down’ trick. She calls a familiar mechanic … and Michael Tillman shows up to lend a wrench and stare longingly at his children. He has a change of heart and takes them home with him.

All of this family drama has people in Storybrooke pondering their own history. Henry asks Emma to tell him about his dad and she spins a yarn about a brave fireman who died while saving a family from a fire. She admits to Mary Margaret that Henry’s dad was ‘no hero’ and he doesn’t need to know the truth. Emma is feeling a little sorrowful about her own parents – who she has never been able to track down. Mary Margaret tries to cheer her up. Maybe they had a good reason for disappearing? Emma tells her Henry’s theory, about the magical wardrobe and her destiny as a savior. She even slips in the part about Snow White being her real mom. The two women have a good laugh about being mother and daughter. But Mary Margaret later stumbles upon Emma’s baby blanket – the very one Snow wrapped her up in to send her off with love – and has a weirdly emotional reaction. I’m really fascinated by Emma and Mary Margaret’s friendship. How weird is it to become friends with your mother when she’s the same age as you. It’s like Back to the Future, except you’re totally oblivious!

This episode was Rumpelstiltskin light, which was a nice change. I’m interested in Mr. Gold, but I’m getting a little sick of Rumpel being the architect of every single piece of magic in fairy tale land! Also, it was really nice to see new players on the scene. I hope we’ll get some follow-up on Hansel and Gretel AND Cinderella in future episodes.

In the final scene of the show, a stranger rides right down main street on his motor bike and stops to ask Emma and Henry for directions to a hotel. But there ARE no strangers in Storybrooke … right? Well there are now.

Photo Courtesy of ABC

Let’s put the conspiracies mostly aside for the moment and get the facts of the murder straight. Laura Cambridge, a young English professor, quits her job to write a book about what it’s like for a privileged person to take on a series of minimum wage jobs. (Her agent inexplicably thinks this book proposal is “astonishing.” Has he never heard of Barbara Ehrenreich?) One of the jobs she takes is as a phone sex operator, and she becomes very successful at it because of her listening skills. One night, a client tells her about a conspiracy to frame the mayor for embezzlement. Laura’s a writer, and she wants the story, so she tracks down the client, who turns out to be Jordan Norris, an assistant to the mayor’s chief of staff. Norris tells the conspirators that Laura is a threat, so they have her killed, but before he can tell Beckett who was responsible, a lawyer sweeps in and orders him to stop talking. This was an interesting way of solving the murder of the week but simultaneously leaving things unresolved as part of a larger arc.

The first layer of conspiracy is the one against the mayor. Mayor Weldon – who is, let’s not forget, a longtime friend of Castle’s – has just formed an exploratory committee for governor. Both the embezzlement investigation, which targets him, and Laura’s murder, for which he is framed, are designed to ruin his political career. As everyone from Gates to Weldon’s chief of staff to Castle himself points out, being named as a suspect will ruin Weldon’s future even if he’s ultimately proven innocent. Castle sees the possibility of conspiracy more quickly than Beckett, both because of his personality and because he wants his friend to be innocent; as Beckett points out, “Conspiracies, intrigue, that’s your bread and butter. That’s exactly the kind of story that you’d respond to.” Castle tries to see spies and conspiracies around every turn even in run of the mill cases, but this time, he’s finally right. Frustratingly, though Jordan confirms that the conspiracy exists, we never find out who is behind it. All Weldon says to Castle is “I wouldn’t play ball, so they took me out of the game.” Will this shadowy “they” come back later? We’ll have to wait and see.

The second layer of conspiracy begins when Castle gets another call from the mysterious man who is claiming to protect Beckett by keeping her off her mother’s case. Creepy Guy claims that there is more at stake than Castle realizes and gives him a number to call when he needs help. Castle hides this from Beckett, though of course she can tell that something’s wrong. He at first thinks that Creepy Guy is saying Joanna Beckett’s murder is somehow linked to this case, but that’s not it at all. The show cleverly hides the real reason in plain sight: throughout the episode, Castle, Beckett, and the team keep bringing up the fact that if Weldon is forced out of office, Castle’s political influence will be gone too and Gates won’t have to let him shadow Beckett anymore. They all present it as an emotional issue, but this is in fact the threat that Creepy Guy is worried about: if Castle isn’t allowed to work with Beckett, he won’t be there to keep her from looking into her mother’s case. Creepy Guy still won’t say why he wants to protect Beckett, though, just “There are times when a well-placed pawn is more powerful than a king.” Intriguing. I’m glad this storyline is being tied back in to the show’s weekly plots.

This episode was promoted as again featuring a case that might tear Castle and Beckett’s partnership apart, and I’ll admit I rolled my eyes at that. No one really believes that’s a possibility at this point, do they? But they did manage some nice tension, as Castle refused to believe that his friend Weldon could be guilty and Beckett was torn between trying to respect Castle’s feelings and just doing her job. Gates was openly concerned about Castle’s friendship with Weldon, and when Beckett hesitated to get the warrant she needed to test Weldon’s clothing for evidence because the mere fact of the warrant would do irreparable damage to Weldon, Gates told her “You do your job, whatever the cost.” Now, is it true that Beckett shouldn’t let Castle’s loyalties get in the way of the investigation? Sure. But it’s also true that with any job, there’s a point at which it isn’t worth the cost, and Castle is probably Beckett’s best bet for realizing that before it’s too late. She ends up sending him home because he can’t be objective, but when he calls her, she shows up for the meeting – and he’s surprised. Aww.

Beckett: “I can’t apologize for doing my job, Castle.”
Castle: “And I would never ask you to.”

They’re both pretty teary, and I think – I hope – they have gotten to a point at which they acknowledge that they’ll sometimes class, but both know that the other will be there when they call.

There’s so much going on with the conspiracy plot and with Castle and Beckett that there’s very little screen time for anyone else’s personal lives, but there are a few nice moments with Martha and Alexis. At the beginning of the episode, Martha is driving Castle crazy by holding her acting classes in the apartment, but later, she acts as a good sounding board for him. And Alexis is driving herself crazy because she had planned to be at Stanford by now and needs something to do. Castle tells her to give herself a break and just live, but Alexis is Alexis, so she interprets this as “Go get an internship.” Aww.

Next week: PUPPIES!

(Photo courtesy of ABC.)

Emily—the wheels started coming off a bit after Emily lost her Japanese warlord tutelage privileges because he called her out for falling in love with Daniel. Then she fell out with Nolan when she used his liaisons with Tyler to her advantage. They reconciled just in time for Tyler to trip the hell out and beat Nolan senseless and hold everyone at Daniel’s birthday party at gunpoint until his brother showed up to get him back on his meds and take him home. That is, until Emily planted evidence on him that made it look like he killed Frank. Oops. Emily also gets tangled up in Amanda’s refusal to leave, and when she encounters Mason Treadwell (Roger Bart), the writer who betrayed her dad, she has Amanda interrogate him and demand that he admit it. When he doesn’t, she burns his house down, including his in-draft memoirs, and leaves behind Amanda’s lighter. Emily also learns from watching Treadwell’s interview tapes (stolen before she torches his place) that David believed Charlotte to be his daughter (called it!). We also learned in there somewhere that David was killed in prison by another inmate, which I don’t think we’d been told.

Daniel—finally grew a backbone and is siding with Victoria and standing up to Conrad. He makes a move toward seizing his inheritance shares only to have Conrad add a rider that he can’t have them until he’s 30 or married, so now Daniel is ready to propose to Emily, although he’s not really selling it as the right girl so much as the “right girl for now.” He and Emily have also turned some sort of weird corner where now that he’s staying with Victoria, she booty calls him at the guest house, and I’m still not feeling them together.

Nolan—has recovered from his near Tyler homicide and is back in Emily’s good graces, so he’s all too happy to help her put one over on Treadwell without being in the loop that she’s going to burn his house to the ground while they have dinner to discuss a supposed bio. There was also a hilarious scene with Emily and Daniel at the gun range where Nolan showed us he will never receive firearms certification.

Jack—has his hands full with Amanda, who keeps pushing boundaries, although it’s unclear whether they’re yet sleeping together. He keeps giving her the benefit of the doubt and he’s about to have the rug yanked on him since Emily’s set Amanda up for the fire, even though we know (but Emily doesn’t) that she’s on her way to Atlantic City with him at the time it’s set. I was glad to see that Sammy at least called Amanda out for not being who she said she was, but Jack missed it.

Charlotte and Declan—are all cutesy and conniving until they aren’t and Charlotte moves into her dad’s place and gets excited about school. Declan makes an effort to understand the world she’s heading into while still keeping them together. They also pretty much let Victoria know they’re together despite her checkbook.

Victoria—enlists Ashley to help her monitor/manipulate Emily and gauge the climate for a maybe-engagement. We’re getting vibes there that Ashley would be happy to help Emily fail but we don’t have a bead on yet on *why*. We get flashbacks with Victoria and Treadwell where we find out that she bought him off to control his story, then helped kick off his literary career. Setting the stage for another twist, Victoria’s divorce attorney is the same man who let Clarke go to prison and didn’t mount an appeal, so he’ll be coming up on Emily’s short list.

Amanda—is still definitely a needy Nellie and we don’t really know whether she’s hanging onto Jack because Emily obviously feels something for him and she can lord that over her, or she genuinely likes Jack for herself. Either way, the girl seems desperately in need of some medical intervention because she goes from mad to sad to glad very, very quickly.

The loose leaders in the mix are Conrad, who’s up to something with his divorce machinations that demand that he be sneaky and manipulative without blowing up the Clarke saga. And he still has Lydia stashed somewhere.

And that’s our setup for tonight’s new episode.

I wouldn’t be unhappy to see Amanda go, but I’m pretty sure the Jack/Emily reveal will be a long, long time coming, so I doubt that she’s going anywhere anytime soon, and I’d even bet there will be blowback on Emily for setting Amanda up for the fire. If that torpedoes her friendship with Jack, I’ll be annoyed. We already know the Daniel engagement is a go because of the pilot, so we’re getting close to seeing that unfold in real time. I’m ready to see what happens after that.

Photo Courtesy of ABC

Where we are now:
Nearly two weeks after Graham’s death, Emma Swan is still in denial. She’s avoiding going through his belongings and is reluctant to move up from Deputy and pin on his Sheriff’s badge. And she’s not the only one whose spirit has been dented by Graham’s untimely end. Henry has always maintained tireless optimism in the face of all obstacles, but he’s become completely withdrawn and depressed in the wake of the tragedy. He’s convinced that Regina murdered Graham because he was a good person who was trying to change things for the better in Storybrooke. Henry used to view everything through the lens of his fairy tales – evil queens, princesses, knights – but it’s becoming too real to him now. He’s really worried that Emma will be the next victim. “Good loses. Good always loses, because good has to play fair and evil doesn’t.” The poor kid is resigned to his fate under the thumb of his evil mother.

When you think about it, Henry’s feelings about his adoptive mother are REALLY disturbing. It’s one thing to fantasize that the strict, detached parent who bullies you is actually an evil queen in an enchanted land. But Henry really believes that Regina killed someone – a kind friendly person that he knew. The fact that he’s right is kind of beside the point. How messed up is a kid whose only parental figure is a woman who he really believes is a heartless murderess? Truthfully he should be functioning a lot worse than he is!

This week’s fairytale flashback is the story of Rumpelstiltskin … before he became an all-powerful gold-skinned creepo. Rumpel was nothing but a crippled, broken man, with a young son as his only friend and companion. He was an army deserter cloaked in shame and fear who cowered when recruiters came to the village to steal children for the front lines. He would rather get down on his knees and kiss the feet of an aggressive soldier than stand up for himself.

But with his son two days away from his 13th birthday, Rumpel is in danger of losing him to the army recruiters. He flees into the woods with his son and meets an old man who is kind enough to take them in. The old man tries to convince him that he doesn’t have to be the town coward anymore. He has the power to change his destiny. He tells Rumpel all about the “Dark One’; the powerful sorcerer who works for the Duke and has the entire country trembling in fear. The Dark One’s true name is written on a magic dagger, which the Duke uses to enslave him. Rumpel buoys what little courage he has and devises a plan to steal the dagger, stab the dark one, and take his power.

Back in Storybrooke, Emma is finally ready to accept the responsibility of the Sheriff’s office. Henry’s defeatist attitude has her determined to prove to that good doesn’t always have to lose. But Regina has other plans. As mayor, she has a two-week time period to name her own replacement after the loss of a Sheriff. She’s appointing Sydney, the editor of the local newspaper (who was her ‘magic mirror’ in the Enchanted Forest). Dear God – Gus Fring as mayor? What a terrifying thought!

Emma wallows in loud music, scotch and aggressive toaster repairs for a while, but she’s tired of losing to Regina and just wants to finally beat her at something! Help comes in the strange form of Mr. Gold who offers to be her benefactor. He’s decided to help her knock Regina off her pedestal. “Two people with a common goal can accomplish many things. Two people with a common enemy can accomplish many more things.” He tips her off to actual wording of the town charter, which states that the Mayor can only appoint a candidate for Sheriff. If there are any other applicants for the job, an election must be held. Emma crashes Regina’s press conference for Sydney and officially throws her hat into the ring.

Regina takes it all in stride, dusting off her bag of dirty little tricks. She has Sydney run a front page news story about Emma’s criminal past and the fact that she gave birth to Henry in jail while serving time as a teenage felon. But Emma gets an unexpected campaign boost when she confronts Regina at her office and ends up saving her from a freak fire. Suddenly everyone sees her as the brave town hero…the perfect Sheriff!

Sidenote: It’s really amusing that Sydney is such a complete dolt. Regina’s always rolling her eyes and snapping at him because he’s so clueless. He replies “I am?” when Regina announces that Sydney will be running a campaign against Emma. He’s all excited to write a front page story about Emma’s heroism, despite Regina’s exasperation. But it’s news!? A dim, good-natured lackey – quite a change from his last role as a brilliant mega-villain!

Unfortunately for Emma, she doesn’t have time to bask in her new heroine status. She finds a rag in the debris from the fire, soaked in a foul smelling liquid. She immediately recognizes it as a substance she saw Mr. Gold applying to the antiques at his store. She confronts him and he cops to setting the fire. Wasn’t this big event just the things she needed to garner more votes? So now Emma is faced with a difficult choice. She can expose Mr. Gold and lose the only edge she has in the Sheriff’s race or she can stay silent and accept a victory earned by lies and manipulation.

Rumpelstiltskin’s pryo tendencies go back further than Storybrooke. He sets fire to the Duke’s castle and sneaks in to steal the magic dagger from its hiding place behind a large tapestry. It is WAY too easy. Perhaps they didn’t have time in the episode to throw in some obstacles, but it’s laughable that a limping old man could get his hands on a priceless, powerful dagger than controls an all-powerful dark sorcerer by simply walking in and taking it … flames or no flames.

Once he has the dagger, Rumpel retreats into the woods and summons the Dark One, whose true name is Zorso. When he appears, Rumpel stabs him through the heart and pulls back his cloak. He’s shocked to look upon the face of the old man who encouraged his quest for the dagger. The Old Man cackles as he dies, elated to be released from the burden of his magic, “Magic always comes with a price and now it’s yours to pay.” “Why me? Rumpel asks, “I know how to recognize a desperate soul.” As the Dark One takes his last breath, the name Rumpelstiltskin appears on the dagger and Rumpel is hit by a surge of power.

He returns to his village a changed man, slaying the soldiers who were coming for his son and doing it with great delight. Rumpel is scared of nothing and no one anymore. But his young son is now terrified of him and doesn’t like the man he’s become.

As the election debate gets underway in Storybrooke, Emma makes a tough choice and decides to come clean about Mr. Gold’s schemes. It breaks her heart because Henry has become re-invigorated and hopeful again in the wake of her heroics. Emma tells the entire town that Mr. Gold set the fire after agreeing to help her win the election and that she couldn’t endorse what he’d done. She’s sure her confession has ruined any chance she had of winning, but surprisingly the vote goes in her favour. The people of Storybrooke are impressed that she would stand up to someone like Mr. Gold and she’s exactly the sort of person they want protecting them. To Regina’s credit she hands over the Sheriff’s badge with a smile, but warns Emma with delight that Mr. Gold will make a terrifying enemy …

… or will he? When Mr. Gold shows up at the Sheriff’s office, he’s practically gloating over Emma’s victory. He reminds her that while people are afraid of Regina, they are more terrified of him – and if he gave Emma a reason to defy him…that would make her very popular wouldn’t it? And now that Emma is nice and cozy at the Sheriff’s desk, she’ll be in the perfect position to perform that favour she owes him for letting Ashley/Cinderella keep her baby (see “The Price of Gold”). Dun, Dun, Dun!

I’m still enjoying the show, but I really want to see some new fairy tales that don’t involve our primary characters. I’m getting a little bored of the same material being mined in the fairytale flashbacks. The Cinderella episode was cool – what about Sleeping Beauty? That would give us more time with Maleficent, who was great in her cameo. I doubt we’ll see any Little Mermaid action in the enchanted forest. Rapunzel perhaps? Or Beauty and the Beast?

Favourite Quotes:

There was quite a lot of witty dialogue in this week’s episode!

-Mr. Gold to Regina when she storms into his shop after learning he’s been helping Emma – “Shall I move some things, make a bigger space for your rage?”

-Regina to Emma re: her giving birth to Henry in jail – “I’m sorry you didn’t want people to know you cut his cord with a shiv.”

Photo Courtesy of ABC

Let’s get a quick recap of the murder plot out of the way first. The police find the victim, Michael Bailey, when he falls from a window, but he was actually poisoned and moved after he was already dead. The team soon discovers that he was a pick-up artist, so it seems like there are scores of women who might have wanted him dead – but for the past month, he had been living under a different name and not seeing any of his conquests. It turns out that his boss had discovered his lifestyle and was using him for corporate espionage, and the murderer was one of the women he targeted as part of that manipulation. She claims that it was all about business and that she didn’t care about the romantic drama at all.

Everyone seems to expect Ryan to freak out in some way as his wedding approaches amidst this sort of case, but he stays admirably calm and confident, if a bit frustrated by the cleanse Jenny has decided the two of them should go on before the big day. But Castle, Beckett, and Esposito freak out when they learn that Jenny had been one of the pick-up artist victim’s conquests a few years ago, right after she and Ryan started dating. Castle thinks they should tell Ryan, which leads to this gem of a conversation:

Beckett: Castle, if we were getting married, would you want to know about all the guys that I’ve slept with?
Castle: All?
Beckett: Seriously. You sign women’s chests at book readings. You cannot be shocked that I’m not a virgin.
Castle: Just the word . . . all . . . suggests . . . a lot. How many are we talking, exactly?
Beckett: Are you really asking for my number?
Castle: You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.
Beckett: Men. You all want to know, but you don’t want to know. Listen: every woman has her secrets, including Jenny, and sometimes, for the sake of a relationship, it is better not to share.

Well. That should be an interesting conversation for them to revisit at some point. Esposito finally tells Ryan, but it turns out that Jenny had told him and he didn’t care, because it was before they were exclusive. Ah, healthy relationships! So refreshing!

It’s a good thing the case of the week wasn’t all that complex, because Esposito spends much of the episode trying to figure out who Lanie’s date for the wedding will be. Ryan finally gets the name from the reception place cards, and when Esposito looks the man up, he’s completely intimidated by his looks and credentials. So he shows up with his own hot plus-one – his cousin. Lanie’s date? A gay friend she invited because she didn’t want to be alone watching Esposito hit on Jenny’s sorority sisters. Oh, those crazy kids. Luckily, they figure all this out before the wedding starts, so we can only hope that they manage to get in a dance or two at the reception.

Lanie and Esposito aren’t the only ones with plus-one drama, though. When Ryan announces that Castle has also RSVPed with a plus-one, Beckett is not amused – until Castle quickly confesses that his date is Alexis. (Aww.) When Martha takes her shopping for a dress, though, they end up on a double date with the dress store owner and his grandson, and the grandson invites Alexis to a formal benefit concert featuring Lady Gaga – the same night as Ryan’s wedding. Poor Castle winds up dateless again.

As the wedding’s about to begin, it’s actually Beckett who suggests that she and Castle should be each others’ plus-ones. I briefly panicked about them messing up the seating arrangements at this late date, but then I realized Jenny would have surely seated them together anyway. And perhaps I am worrying about the wrong things. ANYWAY. Now, Beckett doesn’t mean this romantically, but it has to be a sign that she’s making progress toward accepting her feelings for Castle, because she knows about his feelings for her and she’s too decent a person to suggest going to the wedding together if she didn’t at least sort of mean it sincerely. I had hoped to get a shot of them dancing together at the reception, mostly just because I love dance scenes, but the exchange Castle and Beckett have at the end more than makes up for it:

Castle: I gotta say, I kind of envy [Ryan].
Beckett: Well, who knows, Castle? Maybe third time’s the charm.

Say it with me: Awwwwww.

Next week: We’re back to a case that might rip the partnership apart. No one really believes there’s any chance of that at this point, but if it makes Castle and Beckett confront some of the things that are still standing between them, I’m all for it.

(Photo courtesy of ABC.)

They went to a seedy motel (or, as Castle calls it, an “Advent calendar of salaciousness) to look at the body of an unidentified white male in his late thirties. He was drugged – he has a needle mark like Beckett – and suffocated, and his prints were burned off. (Beckett to Castle: “Don’t say spy. Or mob hit.”) He has no ID, and no match in Missing Persons, but a paper in his pocket has the address of a cafe and a meeting time. Castle notices a postal bar code on the back of the piece of paper, which is actually an envelope, and it leads them to a house in Queens. There’s no one there except for an old woman in a cage – and that’s the last thing either Becket or Castle remember.

Back at the station, no one knows where Castle and Beckett have gone, but Ryan and Esposito cover for them – and Gates knows it. They go to the cafe and find a waitress who saw the vic meeting with someone; Lanie reports that the vic had been sedated. By this point, Ryan and Esposito are still covering but starting to get worried, so they trace Beckett’s car and use security camera footage find that it was dumped by an unknown man who was then picked up by another man. Gates knows where she’s placing the blame: “What the hell did Castle get her into?” The team combines partial prints to ID the victim as Hank Spooner, a Texan truck driver who was taking cargo to Queens. The man he met at the cafe was a DEA agent: Spooner had been helping smuggle drugs but wanted out. When they find his truck, there’s blood on the floor and a crate with air holes and hair.

Meanwhile, Castle and Beckett are doing what they can to figure out their situation. They get the lights on and realize that they’re in a room with steel doors and cinder block walls that also has a big locked chest freezer and a hatch in the ceiling. They try to push the freezer over to climb on it to get to the hatch, but it’s too heavy, so Castle tries to open the lock (with techniques he learned during book research) and finally gets it open. The freezer is, creepily enough, full of weapons and chains. Beckett then tries climbing on Castle’s shoulders to get to the hatch; she can just barely reach, but a man opens it from above, gives them a sinister smile, and slams it back closed.

Ryan finally notices the postal bar code on the piece of paper, but when the cops get to the house, it’s empty. There’s a hatch in the floor, but when they open it, it turns out not to be the one imprisoning Castle and Beckett. The house is a bank foreclosure, and they discover a case with a similar set-up a few months earlier – in a house owned by the same bank. They narrow the foreclose list down to eleven possible locations and send units to all of them. Beckett and Castle’s actual location is the fourth one Ryan and Esposito try, and they get there just in time, because . . .

While all that was happening, Castle and Beckett hear people talking about selling “her” on the other side of the wall and suspect that they have walked into a human trafficking operation. Beckett convinces Castle that they need to rescue the girl she believes is imprisoned with them – “If it was Alexis on the other side, what would you do?” – but when they break through the wall, they discover that what’s on the other side is not a girl, but a tiger. Yes, a tiger. The tiger, of course, is thrilled with this sudden snack delivery, and Castle and Beckett have no better option than to stand on top of the freezer – not quite out of the tiger’s reach – and scream.

Luckily, Ryan and Esposito hear them, but just as they open the hatch, the bad guys – who turn out to be the old woman from the cage and her sons – materialize out of the darkness with guns drawn. Ryan and Esposito end up deciding to let the suspects go so they can save their friends, but there are plenty of police cars waiting right outside, so no one gets away after all. It turns out that the original victim, Spooner, wasn’t helping smuggle drugs – he was transporting endangered tigers for illegal sale to rich customers all over the world.

Even in the midst of such a high-stakes case, though, no one’s personal lives are on hold. Lanie and Esposito are bickering, and when Castle wants to know what it’s about, Beckett and Lanie both insist it’s none of his business. That, of course, is why he wants to know. Beckett finally tells him they’re arguing about “everything.”

Beckett: “They both want to be together but neither of them wants to admit to it.”
Castle: “Ugh. Why do people do that to themselves?”
Beckett: “Maybe they just don’t see it.”
Castle: “How could they not? It’s so obvious.”

Maybe I’m projecting, but it seemed like Castle and Beckett, or maybe Fillion and Katic, could barely keep straight faces during that exchange. Pot, meet kettle! Meanwhile, Jenny and Ryan are discussing where to spend the holidays. Jenny wants to drive to Florida to see her family, and Esposito says the road trip would actually be a relationship test: “Locked together . . . hours . . .” Sound like another situation we know?

Of course, in between avoiding murderers and tigers, Castle and Beckett had some time to not talk about their relationship. As they’re first trying to navigate while handcuffed, Castle accuses her of always having to lead, and she claims he’s always stepping on her toes. When he asks “Why do you always have to be first?” she points out that she’s the one with the gun, which is a good point, really, and gets at a reason Castle might not be willing to hear: She wants to protect him. He asks “Would it kill you to let someone open the door for you once in a while?” and I mentally ask him whether he doesn’t think that asking her on a date would be a good circumstance in which to facilitate that. Their whole relationship is encapsulated when she finally tells him “Fine. You lead.” All he can come up with is “Thank you. . . . Where did you want to go?” Oh, Castle, you’ve got it bad.

At the end of the episode, they’re both ready to admit that, except for the tiger part, it really hadn’t been that bad:

Castle: “After that experience, if I ever have to be hitched to someone, it would be you.”
Beckett: “Hitched?”
Castle: “Hitched? No, I didn’t say hitched, I said cuffed. Handcuffed. Not hitched, the colloquial or any other connotation or meaning.”
Beckett: “It’s okay, Castle. I understood what you meant. And for what it’s worth, if I ever have to spend another night handcuffed to someone again, I wouldn’t mind if it was you, either.”
Castle: “Really?”
Beckett: “But next time, let’s do it without the tiger.”
Castle: “Next time?”

Beckett walks out of the station smiling, and we’re nicely set up for the second half of the season, which will start with Jenny and Ryan’s wedding – another perfect set-up for plenty of accidentally-on-purpose romantic suggestions. Try not to propose quite yet, Castle. You might scare her off.

(Photo courtesy of ABC.)

James learns the truth when Rumpelstiltskin comes calling again. It seems that the Prince got himself skewered minutes after making an important deal with King Midas. Wait – this is the King who can turn anything into gold with a simple touch? Woah, woah that’s a Greek myth, not a traditional fairytale! Are we mixing genres now? Because if so, I would have appreciated a heads up! Midas offered gold (real original) in exchange for the slaying of a dragon that’s been terrorizing his people. But with the Prince dead, his father, King George, is down one dragonslayer and desperate to hide the truth. Look-alike peasant James presents the perfect solution. Rumpel promises that his mother will never want for anything if he agrees to play the part.

All James has to do is smile and look heroic. The Prince’s knights will slay the dragon and give him all the credit. But the dragon proves fearsome and James is too noble to sit on the sidelines. He jumps into the action, manages to trap the dragon, and slices off its head. With the heroic deed completed, James hopes to return home to his mother, but King George has other plans. King Midas believes the Prince is the strongest warrior in the land and the one person who can unite their kingdoms. He offers his daughter Abigail’s hand in marriage and King George strong-arms James into accepting. He threatens to kill his mother and turn the farm to ash if he doesn’t go along with the proposal.

Back in Storybrooke, David Nolan continues to struggle with his new life. His wife Katherine is sweet and doting, desperately trying to coax his lost memories to the surface. But David remains distant and unsettled. He dashes out on his own Welcome Home party to track down Mary Margaret, who has been avoiding him since their almost lip-lock. Mary is determined to keep her distance and respect his marriage vows.

Convinced he’s a new person, incapable of finding peace in his old life, David decides to end his marriage to Katherine. He begs Mary Margaret to meet him at 8pm on the bridge where she saved his life. If she chooses not to show up, he’ll never bother her again. Mary’s trying so hard to resist her own swirling emotions but it’s Emma that convinces her David made his choice when he left his wife and if she wants him, she should go to him.

Regina has become Katherine’s new BFF, keeping her spirits up and convincing her not to give up on David. She warns Mary Margaret to back the hell off. When Regina learns that the star crossed lovers have scheduled a romantic interlude in the woods, she plays saboteur, pointing David down the wrong path. Her bad directions lead him right past Mr. Gold’s shop, where he stops to find his bearings. Unfortunately he is also mesmerized by a miniature windmill on display … while Mary Margaret waits giddily on the bridge. And he does eventually show up, but not for the lovely rendezvous they had planned. David tells Mary Margaret that he’s remembered his past and although it doesn’t change the way he feels about her, he needs to try to make things work with Katherine. It’s a beautifully done but God-awful scene to watch. Mary is BEAMING when James runs up to meet her and it’s heartbreaking to watch her expression slowly change from uncertainty to devastation when she realizes what’s happened. And yet while her eyes are full of pain she still keeps a fake smile plastered on – too proud to show David how much it hurts.

After she leaves the woods, Mary Margaret bumps into Dr. Whale (he of the horrible first date) in a bar and has a surprising heart to heart: “Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone when you don’t give a crap what they think.” She’s completely distraught, with tears streaming down her face and she confides in him, “You ever walk into a situation where you know exactly what’s going to happen? And then you go into it anyway and then what you’re afraid of happens you kick yourself because you should have known better. But that’s just who you are. So you keep punishing yourself.” He’s actually quite sweet to her, offering to buy her a drink and telling her that he avoids those situations by never doing what’s expected.

This episode was light on the Emma/Henry dynamic, which was actually a nice change. The one interesting development was that Emma discovers Sheriff Graham’s dirty little secret. She switches shifts with him so he can volunteer at an animal shelter and then catches him sneaking out of Regina’s bedroom window. Emma displays a healthy amount of revulsion, but a dash of betrayal as well. Maybe she considered him to be on her side and a dalliance with the mayor breaks her trust. Or maybe she felt like he was flirting with her and is hurt that he’s with someone else.

Overall Impressions

This was a really great episode. It was action packed, full of reveals, and heavy on the emotional content as well. I can’t help falling in love with Mary Margaret – she’s just such a dainty, soft-spoken sweetie pie who wears her heart on her sleeve. You instinctively want good things for her when you watch her and it’s heartbreaking when she gets kicked in the gut.

I actually find Emma to be far less engaging as a character. She’s the cold and distant type, which makes it hard to root for her. I need to see more pain bubbling beneath the surface to really invest! I guess I’m just a sucker for broken characters …

I’m getting a little sick of finding Rumpel’s creepy little fingerprints all over every plot in fairytale land. I know he’s a main character and the want to feature him in every episode, but it’s getting a little predictable. We know always a rumpel deal at the bottom of every tragedy and we’re just waiting to find out what it is.

Random Thoughts

-So is James the Prince’s real name or is James the name of the twin brother he’s pretending to be? He offered it up to Snow, but surely he wouldn’t be stupid enough to drop the wrong name. That would be easy enough to discover. I’m really curious how he ends up marrying Snow and keeping his crown at the same time. I’m assuming King George is going to kick the bucket fairly soon.

-Does Alan Dale actually like being evil? Or is he getting sick of playing bad daddy on every single show? I think I made this comment last year in a Killing blog, but all it takes is one screen shot of him and you know sinister deception is right around the corner!

-Rumpel tells King George that when he made the deal to deliver him a baby, the price was a pittance. Then he reminds him that the Queen is no longer around to conceive the natural way. Am I crazy or did the King trade his wife’s life for a healthy male heir?

Photo Courtesy of ABC