In the beginning of “It Was the Change”, Red and the Golden Girls are in the green house, trying to figure out what to do now that Taslitz has accidentally stabbed someone who looks similar to Vee. The Golden Girls try to excuse it, explaining that Taslitz doesn’t like her glasses. Red tells them, “You want to assassinate someone? Vision is the basic requirement. It’s like, step one: pick a person to kill. Step two: kill that person.”
Piper talks to Morello about how she’s going to be transferred to another prison. She’s sure it’s Fig trying to screw her over personally. When Morello has to leave, Piper tells her, “You know, you were the first person that was nice to me when I got here. I was really scared. You made me feel like it was gonna be okay.” Morello tells her, “I’m gonna remember that you said that. For my bad days.”
Because of the storm, the prison starts flooding. Guards go out to the greenhouse where Red is talking to Vee. Everyone there has responded to the alarm by getting on the ground. Ford asks, “What is this? A tea party? It’s not the ‘lie down on the ground’ alarm, it’s the weather related emergency alarm. Now let’s get back inside the building.” Everyone has to file up to the cafeteria for the night. Cindy says, “If it comes down to swimming, I’ma save myself. I will stand on a bitch’s head.”
While everyone is up in the cafeteria to escape the flooding, Pennsatucky separates to find Healy and get snacks. Smart thinking, girl. He offers her some water but since the plumbing isn’t working, she says, “No thanks. There’s this bucket situation that I’m trying to avoid.” While she’s there, Healy starts to tell her about the lesbian agenda to eliminate men because he’s a truly ridiculous person. He gives her a book called The End of Men and tells her, “In it they talk about how, pretty soon, men are gonna become irrelevant. Now women are more educated, they’re gonna make more money and pretty much run everything.” Pennsatucky tells him, “No offense, but, uh, men being in charge has never done me any good.”
In a flashback, Vee finds out that one of the young people who works for her, RJ, has secretly been dealing on his own, in her territory. She’s pissed at the betrayal and he’s clearly scared of her. She uses the fact that he’s afraid of her as an opportunity to get him to go to the bone zone with her. Gross.
Piper sees Ruiz crying and sits down next to her. She tells her that she’s being transferred too “so at least we’ll know each other.” “We don’t know each other,” Ruiz reminds her. Piper tries a different tactic, saying she saw Ruiz with her boyfriend and he seems like he loves her a lot. She replies, “Fuck him. I’m gonna come home, finally. My baby’s gonna be in the third grade, calling some other puta mommy. Men can’t help it. They’re weak.”
Pennsatucky is playing checkers with Boo when she gets curious about what Healy told her about the lesbian agenda. She asks her, “How does this whole agenda thing work?” Boo flatly replies, “I got a lot of those. Specify.” “The gay agenda to take over the world,” she says. Props to Boo, she almost immediately looks at Pennsatucky seriously and says, “First of all, keep your voice down. This shit is secret.” Pennsatucky asks her all her questions about the gay agenda and honestly this entre scene is gold. Pennsatucky asks if they can keep me around for sex because “I like how they smell kind of funky and they’re big and they have dicks and all that.” Boo says, “Maybe, but when you’re done you gotta toss ‘em away like trash.”
Red tries to supervise the Latina women while they cook. Since they’re only making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, they’re pretty offended by this. Red tells them, “You’re putting the jelly too close to the edges. You got to even it out, or it leaks.” Maritza stares at her and asks, “Is this happening?”
Meanwhile, Leanne and Angie are pretty high, so Leanne asks, “Do you ever think about why we wear clothes all the time? Like, really think about it?” Angie responds, “I feel trapped inside my face.” Between Vee and Red trying to murder each other and the hurricane this is a very stressful, tense episode so I’m glad they worked in this many comedy bits.
In a flashback, Vee is lying contented in bed after being with RJ. She tells him she wants a popsicle and that he should go get it now because she taught him to treat women like queens. This is by far the most I’ve ever liked Vee. Once he’s out the door, he makes a call.
When he’s outside, he runs into the cop who’s working for Vee. The cop shoots him. This makes Vee seem pretty diabolical but consider this: now she won’t get that popsicle. No, but seriously, wow, she is awful.
Fig walks in on her husband with his intern who looks like Hank McCoy as portrayed by Nicholas Hoult. They’re kissing and Fig is absolutely shocked which seems … odd? I’d really gotten the impression in all their previous interactions that Fig knew the score, with lines like him telling her to keep up her end of the agreement by going to the party with him and her calling out the fact that he never had sex with her.
In the final scene, Red is in the greenhouse, assessing the damage from the storm. Vee sneaks in, holding a sock full of coins. She starts brutally beating Red before it cuts to the credits. It’s a very intense ending.
In conclusion, here’s my list of songs I wish had been included in Brook Soso’s hurricane sing-a-long:
- I Love You Always Forever by Donna Lewis
- Hands by Jewel
- Linger by The Cranberries
- There She Goes by The La’s
- Simple Kind of Life by No Doubt
- Don’t Speak by No Doubt
- You Were Meant for Me by Jewel
- Torn by Natalie Imbruglia
- Hand in My Pocket by Alanis Morissette
- Breathe (2 AM) by Anna Nalick
Photo Courtesy of Netflix