Jane the Virgin: Chapter 5

In Chapter 3 of Jane the Virgin, Jane put her feelings for Rafael to rest and discovered that her favourite telenovela star is also her father.

In Chapter 4, Jane is reeling from her mother’s deception and struggling to connect with her peculiar new father figure. Which brings us to Chapter 5.

Mommy Rift

In the aftermath of the big daddy reveal, Jane is not on speaking terms with Xiomara. She’s so hurt and angry that she can’t even stay under the same roof as her mother. She packs up her things and heads to Michael’s until she can find a more permanent solution. Michael pushes Jane to repair the rift, particularly because they can’t get married until Jane stops fighting with her. But Jane understandably needs time to cool down and sort out her feelings.

There was an insanely wonderful scene between Jane and Xiomara, which perfectly depicted their difficult situation and the complicated emotions at stake. Xiomara is distraught and desperate and just wants forgiveness, but Jane tells her, “What you did to me, what you took away from me, it’s not okay.” So true. Xiomara was scared and vulnerable and the reasons she lied to her daughter were very human. I’m not sure I would have made a different decision in her situation. BUT … that doesn’t lessen Jane’s loss right now.

Of course when you’re fighting with your favourite confidante it kinds of makes it difficult to deal with tough life situations – like how to interact with your celebrity father.

Shallow Dad

Let’s just say that Jane and Rogelio handled the prep for their big first meeting … um … differently.

Jane fretted about whether her father would like her and worried their first meeting would be awkward. She made a list of helpful icebreakers, like her cute childhood fantasy that her dad was actually Jimmy Smits.

Rogelio enlisted the help of the entire wardrobe department to craft the perfect “Hello, I am your handsome and famous father” ensemble and arranged lighting for a comically long entrance down a grand staircase.

Not so shockingly, it was an unsuccessful introduction. Jane met Rogelio for lunch on the sat of The Passions of Santos and whisked her off to dine against the flimsy set backdrop of the Mayan ruins. Instead of sharing anecdotes and honest truths from his life, he presented his daughter with the unauthorized biography of his life. Jane left dumfounded, shell-shocked and terrified that her newfound father has zero substance.

At Michael’s urging, Jane gives Rogelio a second chance and invites him over for a casual dinner at the house, hoping the low-key setting will inspire more intimate conversation. Things go smoothly at first; Jane orders Thai food (a tip she got from the book) and Rogelio drops the drama. But when he tries to defend Xiomara, Jane breaks down and calls an end to the night. She’s been dreaming about her daddy for 23 years and she simply can’t handle the disappointing reality.

Raised By…?

But Jane’s parental pain is not her only problem. Rafael comes clean about his split from Petra and Jane is super freaked about the prospects for her unborn baby. Rafael is adamant that he wants to – and can – raise the child alone, but Jane doesn’t dig the single father scenario. With her current mommy and daddy issues, it’s no surprise she’d prefer a two-parent home. Still … does she really want to raise the baby herself? Michael may have changed his tune, but motherhood doesn’t factor into Jane’s immediate life plans. But if they shared custody with Rafael, how would that work? The only thing they can definitely agree on is that they will not store the baby in a closet somewhere. Well, I’m certainly glad that’s settled!

After a little soul-searching, Jane realizes that there is no perfect solution and it may take time to figure out what works. She tells Rafael that she’s not walking away from her baby. He’s obviously disappointed and more than a little hostile. So now he’s lusting after Jane AND he’s pissed at her. I feel really bad for him. And not just because he’s delicious. Rafael made an incredibly difficult decision and chose to be honest with Jane (which no one else in her life seems capable of doing) even though he knew it might cost him full custody. I hope Jane will appreciate how mature he’s being.

Second Chance 2.0

Jane’s realization that she can’t guarantee a perfect future for her baby makes her rethink her approach with Rogelio. They agree to start over with less expectations. Rogelio presents Jane with a framed picture of himself holding a baby with her adult face glued on. Yes, that is just as weird as it sounds. But I guess it’s more personal than a biography?

Are You Trying to Seduce Me?

Petra, who is faced with the potential of a measly $250,000 divorce settlement, is desperate to reverse her fortunes. Her plan involves tugging at Rafael’s heart and his pants. Petra shows up in their penthouse wearing sexy lingerie and holding a deformed knitting project that was apparently supposed to be a baby bonnet, but looks more like an ugly beret. In a flashback, we learn that Petra and Rafael were almost parents once, but Petra suffered a miscarriage before Rafael was diagnosed with cancer. Memory-laden hat in hand, Petra shimmies up to Rafael and purrs for another shot. And he nearly goes for it! Fortunately he stops himself and slaps her with official divorce papers.

But at least he doesn’t actually slap her, which is more than we can say for her mother. Petra is ready to throw in the towel and collect whatever money she can, but Magda is not about to give up. She offers to moisturize her stressed daughter but wallops her in the right eye instead. DAMN this woman is committed to the cause! Black-eyed Petra calls the cops and claims that Rafael hit her. This could be the punch that broke the pre-nup.

Bad News Brother

Michael had a lot on his plate this week as well, starting with the fact that his brother Billy is extorting him for $2000. Either Michael pays up or Billy will tell Jane some vague truth that she won’t be happy to hear. Instead, Michael admits to Jane that he used to steal cars and Billy went to jail for him. Hmmm … is that really the whole story? Knowing that Michael is quite capable of lying, how can we be sure there’s not more to it. Why would Michael hate Billy so much if his brother took the fall for him?

Sin Rostro

There’s a major break in the Roman Zazo case when Jane points out to Michael that a bell man nicknamed Disgusting Tom was working the night of the murder, but doesn’t show up on the official list. Before the cops can question him, Disgusting Tom is stabbed with a corkscrew. Rafael and Rose find him in the hallway, croaking out his last words — Sin Rostro.

The Man She Thought She Knew So Well

With all the chaos in Jane’s life, her only refuge is her wonderful fiancé Michael. Which of course means she’s about to find out he’s not so wonderful after all. While searching for a sports jersey to model for her honey, Jane stumbles across a folder filled with pictures of Petra and Zazo in compromising positions. And just that morning Michael had feigned surprise when she told him about the affair. Big Mistake. Huge. Michael tries to get himself out of hot water with, “I didn’t want to compromise the investigation” and “I felt terrible.” But what I LOVE about Jane is that she never puts up with other people’s B.S. She has high standards for people who are supposed to love her and have her best interests at heart. When they let her down she doesn’t let them talk her out of her justifiable anger just to make themselves feel better. Good for you girl!

Jane walks out on Michael and runs back into the arms of her mother. I guess when your boyfriend breaks your heart you just need your mama … even when you’re not talking to her.

Favourite Quote:

Jane: Oh my God, that’s a clue right?
Michael: Easy, Veronica Mars

 Favourite Narrator Quip:

Rafael (To Jane): I wanted to talk to you
Narrator: Well that’s not all he wanted to do to her

Rogelio De La Vega Fact of the Week:

He doesn’t ‘pop’ in peach.

Photo Courtesy of The CW

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