iZombie: Physician, Heal Thy Selfie


“Physician, Heal Thy Selfie” begins with Peyton’s words from last week’s iZombie still ringing in Liv’s ears: just because you’re physically intimate with someone does not guarantee the same level of emotional intimacy … or vice versa.

Questioning her own familiarity with Drake prior to jumping into bed, albeit in part because of that frisky librarian brain, Liv tries to put some distance between them immediately. At the same time, Peyton has returned to Ravi and Major’s place to crash on the couch and Ravi, who was lounging on her temporary abode, apologizes for taking up the space. She welcomes his company and the two bond over Peyton’s very real stress at making herself — the ultimate badass powerhouse — look like it’s easy to pull off. Instead, she tells him that she’s incredibly screwed up and imperfect, like everyone is, and they drink for the rest of the night.

The following morning Ravi is his own version of the walking dead — Peyton drank him under the table — as he and Liv are called to the scene of a crime. Eager for the trio of bodies they hear washed ashore, they’re shocked and worried to find them all without heads, especially Liv since she hasn’t eaten breakfast and could use the extra stores of brains to eat. Unsure of what this means or namely how exactly this is related to zombies — that much both Ravi and Liv seem pretty sure of, even from the start — they have to now figure out without any of Liv’s visions to lay the groundwork for their case.

As a means of supplanting the hunger, Ravi offers Liv another brain of a DOA body in their possession. This girl was a social media junkie who died while texting and walking into traffic. Liv is desperate for the sustenance no matter how wary she is to take this particular brain. She’s instantly snapping selfies, hashtagging tweets, and puts up with some necessary third degree from Ravi who is worried that in the process of instagramming her sushi she’s forgetting that inside the California roll is human brains.

Later, at work with Peyton, Blaine shows up to catch up about their progress on the status of the board supporting their Boss organization take down. There’s a moment of near-sincerity — for Blaine — that makes it seem like he’s ready to throw the casual sex off the table since his priorities also lie with taking down Boss while he’s able to. In the meantime, Liv shows up and interrupts the assurance to share a cocktail with Peyton and double team Blaine into hitting the bricks, which he begrudgingly does shortly afterwards. Another co-worker stops to warn Peyton that her boss is currently MIA and she’s worried what that might mean for their upcoming court dates as things move forward. Peyton volunteers to stop by his house and see if he’s simply ignoring the calls — we know this boss is a zombie from prior episodes, and he’s also known to play his music extra loud — potentially missing any attempt to contact via message prior to seeing him in person. When she does stop by, however, there are signs of a major struggle and a message scrawled across the wall implying that this was potentially the work of the Chaos killer — a.k.a. Major — despite no sign of the boss’ body. Liv has other ideas, however, since the men in Peyton’s photos are the three bodies that washed up on shore.

Assuming that Boss potentially has something to do with the missing heads, they question him at his office and narrowly miss running into Drake in the parking lot, who is talking to his mom on the phone. Boss remains as enigmatic and menacing as ever but provides nothing but sympathies for the men that died, and sees them out.

Clive reaches out to an informant for more information and they eventually figure out enough to realize that the perpetrator may not be such an easy solve. Unfortunately, at the same time, we learn that Du Clarke has also gotten word that the DA was responsible for taking out Boss’ men with super strength and generally puts the pieces together to be sure that he was a zombie. This directly contradicts what Major told him. Found out for lying about his zombism, Major is truthful that he did make an exception for the man after finding out about the young son. He assures both Gilda and Du Clarke that it won’t happen again. Du Clarke agrees that it won’t and it’s in this same moment that we’re first introduced to his new security back-up which feels like an ominous presence for Major to be dealing with this far down his spiral into serial killing.

Dale and Clive brainstorm more about the status of the Chaos killer being the DA. On instinct alone, Dale doesn’t think it’s him, but instead it’s a very neat frame-up by her estimation. She is still wrong in thinking that said killer is Blaine and not Major — Blaine’s insistance that they have the wrong guy is not wrong — this time.

Liv takes the break in news as an opportunity to also do some background checks on Drake because she’s still a bit nervous about Peyton’s earlier words. Turns out he was a convicted felon for assault and she’s even more nervous about what that means for their potential continued relationship. When he shows up later, he insists that she’s got the wrong idea — yes, he did go to jail — but it was after defending his mother against an abusive ex-boyfriend. The judge tried to throw the book at him since the other man ended up unable to walk as a result of Drake’s retribution. Liv, still a little nervous about the situation, seems placated about Drake’s overall intentions and trustworthiness — agreeing to see him again that night for dinner — only for their plans to be threatened immediately because his mother is having plumbing problems.

Liv, or perhaps the brain she ate, spouts off a statistic that if a guy tries to cancel the date that quickly it speaks to his ill-intent. When Drake assures her that he’s only doing it because his mother’s a handful, Liv agrees to make the date a homebound trip to his mother’s place to fix her sink. They share a lovely, bizarre date talking things over with his mother, and bonding over his eccentric mother giving Liv a makeover to help with her deathly pale skin.

Blaine is hosting the funeral for the three dead men at Shady Plots which leads to an extremely tense back and forth with Stacey Boss when he arrives to pay his respects. When he stops downstairs while Blaine hides out — presumably to outlast Boss’ visit and go back up when he’s left — they discuss the vig and debt owed to Boss. Blaine tersely agrees to a large sum due, something north of eighty thousand plus vig, and all but cartwheels once Stacey leaves almost amicably to get back to business. Whether this is because Stacey isn’t threatened by Blaine’s side business of drug running or because he’s still unaware that the other player is Blaine himself — it’s a little unclear, given Boss’ bizarre personality and decisions — either way it lands Blaine off the hook for the time being.

The next morning, Ravi stumbles around the crime scene having escalated to even more hung over after the nightly drinking binges with Peyton have continued past the first night. He investigates the scene along with Liv and Clive that the crime on a boat that arrives at the dock and is covered in the blood of the deceased trio.

Clive runs down a lead that lands them at a cabin for the person they believe is tied to the DA’s murder but when they arrive — based on the mail in the box — it actually belongs to the DA himself. The case now takes on a worrying turn that the DA may be behind these grisly murders. Liv is fairly certain of his zombism herself due to the excess of hot sauce in the cabin, once they search it, and when they find the trio of heads from the lake inside the fridge all bets are off. Liv realizes he would probably have stayed behind in hopes that they weren’t cops and he could still keep the three heads for his own brain nourishment, thus must still be at the property hiding out, and decides to come back later with brains.

She shows up after hours and they discuss what really happened the day that his home was trashed and the three men ended up killed on the boat. Turns out that Boss wasn’t happy about the DA’s decision to prosecute him and sent his goons to take him out. When he sent the three men to attack him, however, he didn’t realize that even three on one, fighting zombies doesn’t make for a fair fight. When they attacked him, it was lights for them all from the very beginning, and the DA decides to keep their heads both to avoid being quickly identified and for the source of food. He didn’t want his young son to be without his father and Liv — looking understandably devastated, reacts similarly to Major, who first spared the DA a while back — decides to help him avoid being caught.

Unfortunately for them both, they don’t realize that discussing the Chaos killer situation with Major present means tipping him off to being on his trail. Major is also feeling the pressure from the higher-ups to take down the DA for real, the second time, or else Liv might be feeling the repercussions in his place. When Liv visits the DA, Major follows after her and lurks out front in a car waiting for her to leave again, and while she’s gone — off-screen — works out a deal with the DA to let him write a letter saying goodbye to his son and freezing him along with the other targets he didn’t want to outright kill.

Simultaneously, Peyton has submitted her letter of resignation for having compromised the case by sleeping with Blaine who was her informant for the case against Boss. The mayor shows up to refuse the offer to leave and tells Peyton that with the DA in the wind, she absolutely cannot let the case fall further apart this close to finally putting Boss behind bars. Peyton begrudgingly agrees and decides to keep at the case for as long as she’s able to do so without the blowback affecting the trial.

Clive finds the note along with the shoes of the DA near a local bridge and believes that he may have committed suicide — which was staged by Major and the DA — after Liv had left him behind the night before.

Peyton’s new apartment is finally ready and although Ravi makes a weak attempt to keep her living with them both, she opts for her independence and says goodbye as she heads off to her new place. Perhaps now we’ll get a functional Ravi by next episode unless they take their drinking binges to a local bar, a Skype call, or other central meeting place.

In the final moments, Liv’s visions come to a head when her night in with Drake is interrupted by one of Blaine’s lackeys showing up to have him help with brain retrieval. When he heads off, Liv has a vision of the other man pushing drugs on the brain she’d eaten, cluing her in that the new game in town has been Blaine all along.

Stray Observations:

  • “Never start land war in Asia, don’t go toe to toe with Peyton Charles when drinking is involved.” Wise words, Liv. Wise words.
  • “Looks like a no brainer to me.” It’s amazing that we’ve gotten this far into the series and this is still — I believe — the first time this joke was made.
  • The drink that Peyton makes for Liv is doused heavily in hot sauce and includes the cutest chili pepper split and hung on the glass’ rim. Adorable.
  • Drake and his sweater. There’s not much else to say about that, but it’s amazing. I don’t fully trust him still, given his associates, but that did a lot to prove that he’s capable of being a truly good guy — for wearing a sweater like that without even disparaging it as a joke.
  • Clive wielding that shotgun without comment because drawing too much attention to it would be even more distractingly badass.
  • Ravi on why it’s safer for Peyton to live with the guys is one’s a Greek god whose pretty much turned his body into a finely tuned weapon. “And then of course, [there’s] Major.”

Photo Courtesy of The CW

About Maura Kate

Maura Kate is a twenty something from the “generic M. Night Shyamalan exterior shot” area near suburban Philadelphia. She co-hosts a podcast called The Televoid (@thetelevoid), where she watches all the worst episodes of TV so you don’t have to. She tweets from @maurae.