Devious Maids: Whiplash

Devious Maids

This week’s Devious Maids started with a montage of Carmen trying on outfits. So it’s already A+ in my book. Sebastien comes over and she tells him that she can’t decide what to wear when she goes on TV promoting her album. She realizes that she left her phone at Sebastien’s house and worries that Jacklyn found it. In the next scene, we see that she did find it and Jacklyn tells her assistant “the bitch is gonna pay.”

Taylor comes home and tells Rosie she’s been at the gym. She acts suspicious and doesn’t have a gym bag with her. Rosie is clearly wondering what’s going on with her.

Evelyn asks Adrian to watch Deion for a day. Adrian says he’s sure Carmen can babysit, which makes Carmen dart out of the room. Evelyn tells him that he needs to bond with their child. He claims to be busy. She asks, “With what? Golf?” He says, “And also a nap.” He tells her, “Need I remind you I didn’t want the b-o-y in the first place.” Deion reminds him that he can spell. Evelyn tells him this isn’t a negotiation and he’s going to spend the day with Deion. After she walks away, Deion laughs at Adrian and happily tells him, “You’re her bitch.”

Rosie tells the other maids she suspects Taylor of having an affair. Zoila agrees that maids are always the first to know if someone is cheating. She happily remembers a time when Genevieve was cheating on her husband and her husband was also cheating on her. “Nobody ever slept at home. I never had to make the bed. That was a great marriage.” Rosie wonders if Blanca knew about the affair too. Carmen remembers Blanca telling her that something was going on at that house. She wonders if Taylor took Blanca out to cover up the affair. Rosie says that if Taylor’s not the killer, maybe her lover is.

Zoila tells Joy to stop showing her up and making her look bad. Joy tells her, “The truth is, if you want to impress Dr. Neff, try being more impressive.” After those fighting words, they start both trying to outdo each other. When Zoila tries to dust an old vase belonging to Dr. Neff, Joy takes it from her and they fight over it. Joy ends up falling while she’s holding the vase and ashes spill out of it. Joy tells Zoila that the ashes are Dr. Neff’s mother.

Evelyn calls Adrian to warn him that child services is visiting them tomorrow and wants to meet Adrian. Meanwhile, Adrian and Deion are bonding, betting on horses together.

The next time Taylor goes out, Rosie decides to tail her. Taylor drives to a park. Rosie followers her. Through the trees, she sees Taylor meeting up with a guy. And it’s Spence! Taylor slaps him. This is my kind of television.

Evelyn plans to slip Adrian a drug to put him in a good mood when he meets with the woman from child services. But, the woman ends up drinking the beverage she put the drugs in instead.

Marisol meets up with Olivia Rice to convince her to hire Jesse. She says that the only reason she told Olivia not to hire Jesse was that she was worried about Olivia being with him. Olivia assures her that she’s seeing someone: her ex-husband Michael Stappord. She says they’ve been seeing each other for months and that Taylor is finally getting a taste of her own medicine. She cheerfully mentions her maid getting murdered, even though most people think Blanca killed herself. She happily says, “Her whole life is falling apart. I couldn’t have planned it better myself.”

When it becomes clear to Adrian that something is going on with the child services representative, he pulls Evelyn aside to ask her what happened. She tells him that she meant to drug him, to stop him from ruining the interview. Adrian tells her that he actually wants to adopt Deion now. Evelyn is delighted to hear this, but her happiness is short-lived when they realize that they have a major problem with the drugged child services representative on their hands.

Carmen does an interview on live TV about her album. When they cut to what’s supposed to be a clip of her new music video, a tape of her having sex with Sebastien plays instead. Jacklyn smiles with satisfaction from backstage.

Dr. Neff comes home. When he sees that the urn has been dusted, he picks it up. He notices that it feels lighter. When he asks Joy what happened, Zoila jumps in and says that she dropped the urn and spilled the ashes. Dr. Neff tells her that Genevieve is going to hear about this. After he walks away, Joy looks at Zoila with surprise and says, “You took the blame for me.” Zoila says that it’s Maid Code and they have each other’s backs.

When the woman from child services wakes up after passing out, she asks the Powells what happened. She realizes they drugged him. Deion shows her that he took pictures of her while she was on drugs. He says, “I think your boss would like to see these pictures.” The woman says, “Oh my God, this little boy is extorting me.” Adrian happily says, “I know. Turns out he’s a Powell after all.”

Rosie talks to Spence. She admits that thinking of him with another woman drives her crazy. They almost kiss and then Rosie says, “You’re a great man, Mr. Spence. You always do the right thing.” He says, “Yeah, I hate that about me.” That is so terrible that it actually would’ve been less terrible if they’d kissed.

In the final scene, Olivia is on the phone with an unknown second party. She says, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m sending you the rest of your money. Everything’s working out just as I planned. No, no, you’ve done more than enough for me. I’ll take it from here.” Then she grabs a pair of scissors and starts cutting off her hair. Once she’s cut it down, she razors herself bald. What. The. Hell.

Photo Courtesy of Lifetime

About Lenny

Lenny Burnham is a TV blogger and co-host of the podcasts Secret Lover and Rerunning Wild, available on iTunes. Follow Lenny on Twitter @lennyburnham.