Devious Maids: Since You Went Away

Devious Maids

This week’s Devious Maids gave us lots of the beautiful, dynamic duo that is Carmen and Adrian. Plus, Rosie moved a little closer to ditching Spence. Maybe. Fingers crossed. Let’s get into it!

The episode opened on Carmen going to the Stoppards to get her dress back from Blanca. Taylor tells her that Blanca just took off last night and cleaned out her room. Carmen asks, “Did she leave a dress?” Taylor nervously tells her, “Um, no, she did not leave an address.” Carmen says, “No, not an address. A dress.” Carmen has a lot of questions about this bizarre cover up, all of them pertaining to how she can get her dress back.

Genevieve worries about Zoila telling her, “Javie has left and now you’re letting yourself go. When was the last time you washed your hair?” Zoila tells her, “This morning.” She asks, “Oh so … that’s on purpose?” Sigh. White ladies.

Spence asks Rosie if she’s told Ernesto she’s staying with him. This dude is so gross. She says that she isn’t sure what to tell Ernesto. Spence says, “I’m staying with Spence. Four words.” Ugh. She assures Spence she loves him and she’s not going anywhere, which makes me want to heckle the TV.

Sebastian asks Carmen out. She tells him he’s like chocolate — she’s smart enough to know it’s bad for her. But, he convinces him to go out with her after agreeing to the condition that he buys her something expensive and she gives him 0 sex.

Marisol calls Gail Fleming to see if she’s satisfied with Jesse’s service. She is very satisfied, for perv reasons. She’s got some great points there. I don’t know where this show keeps finding people who are criminally attractive even by TV standards. Jesse calls Gail over because he’s just found a severed human hand in her lawn. Yikes.

The maids drink together and dish. Zoila asks the important questions, “How is it that at my wedding, I end up with no husband and Rosie ends up with two?”

At the Powell house, Adrian tells Carmen he’s thrown out his back and he needs her to walk on his back in heels. “It’s the only thing that’ll work out my kinks.” I love this show.

Rosie and Ernesto explain to Miguel that Ernesto is still alive. While Miguel is getting more ice cream, Rosie tells Ernesto that she made a commitment to Spence. Boo. Ernesto asks if she loves Spence more than she loves him. She says, “I choose him.” Boooooo. Ernesto tells her he’ll respect her choice, then says he’d like to spend time with his son, which means taking him back to Mexico.

Gail tells Jesse to toss the hand onto the Powell lawn since they’re already in the middle of a severed body parts sandal. Jesse brings it to Marisol and Marisol brings it to Gail to tell her to put it back where she found it. Gail says she doesn’t want to be known as the gruesome hand lady. Marisol says she’s going to call the police either way and Gail finally agrees to put the hand back where she found it. Genevieve asks Marisol if she’s saying and Marisol says, “No, I just came to lend Gail a hand.” I love this show.

Adrian gives Carmen a pair of Luis Vuitton shoes to thank her for walking on his back. He says that if he hopes his back ever goes out again, he’ll be able to count on her. She tells her she’s not stupid and she knows what this is. She says, “You’re a dirty old man.” He responds, “Old is a bit harsh.” Why did it take so long for this show to pair these two together? He tells her that he can give her cash.

Genevieve’s handsome daughter has asked her out, so they’re having dinner at Genevieve’s house. Zoila serves them and gently reminds them to actually get to know each other before they fall totally head over heels. He asks her to come to Greece with him for six months. When she says, “Of course I will!”, Zoila spills a tray of crab legs all over him.

Sebastian cancels his date with Carmen because he has to go out with his wife. She’s hurt, but takes the opportunity to show him the shoes that Adrian got her. “Why would Mr. Powell buy you shoes?” he asked. “I’m an excellent housekeeper,” she says. He responds, “Carmen, don’t make jokes.” When he tells her she can’t accept money for sexual favors, she says, “You stay with your wife for the money. What does that make you?” She reminds him that he said the beauty of their relationship is they can both do whatever they want.

Carmen tells Adrian that she’s thought about his offer, but can’t accept it because she’s seeing someone. When she admits that it’s complicated because he’s married, Adrian says she should know better. “Married men are the worst! I should know, I’m one of them.” He tells her that Sebastian doesn’t love him and she’s nothing more than a fun ride to him and then she slaps him. He smiles at her and says, “It felt good, didn’t it? Men are bad. We deserve to be punished.” This relationship is absolutely one of the best things to happen on TV.

Rosie and Spence invite Ernesto over and tell him that they’ll help him stay in America so that Miguel can get to know him. She says they’ll help him extend his visa. Ernesto asks Spence if he’s okay with it and Spence says, “It was my idea.” Spence, you haven’t had a single original thought in your entire life. I’m just waiting for this to lead to Rosie dumping Spence for this already obviously better candidate.

The cops ID the hand that was found in Gail’s lawn. It’s Louie Becker, a tennis pro from the country club. The police talk to Gail and she says that she knows a wealthy woman who had a very tempestuous romance with him and an ugly break up. All signs point to Taylor Stoppard, but in the final scene Detective Figuero shows up at Genevieve’s door.

Photo Courtesy of Lifetime

About Lenny

Lenny Burnham is a TV blogger and co-host of the podcasts Secret Lover and Rerunning Wild, available on iTunes. Follow Lenny on Twitter @lennyburnham.