The Vampire Diaries: The Descent

After a grueling hiatus, The Vampire Diaries did not disappoint when it returned with a new episode last Thursday night. Fangs were out, body count soared, secrets were revealed, and a familiar foe returned.

So without further ado, let us on with the review.

Show Stealer

“I can’t be what other people want me to be, what she wants me to be. This is who I am, Jessica. You are my existential crisis. Do I kill you? Do I not kill you? I have to, Jessica because I’m not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything else in the world. That is my secret. There’s only so much hurt a man can take.”

There are good scenes, there are great scenes, and then there are scenes that are so unforgettable they’ll be recalled by fandom for seasons to come and seasons after the show has passed. Damon’s “This Is My Secret” scene in “The Descent” is one of those scenes. There is something equally eerie and excellent that happens when Ian Somerhalder slips into the true guise of Damon Salvatore. Not the cheeky one-liner, sexy smartass Damon Salvatore, but the tortured blood-lusting bad boy antihero lost between the man and the monster, desperate to be saved but knowing he can never be. That is the Damon Salvatore who made me his diehard defender. That is the Damon Salvatore that, without question, stole the show.

More Applause Triggers

Vamped Out Damon. More than half a season of waiting and FINALLY Damon’s fangs made an appearance! I *may* have tweeted my elation in Caps Lock. Sorry, Jessica, nothing personal.

Rose. No you do not need to adjust your screen. Yes, you read that right. In “The Descent,” Rose finally found purpose for me – albeit in her death, but why dwell? Her unnerving downward spiral into wolf-bite-induced delirium was absolutely riveting. And it forced Damon to snap: metaphorically, existentially, literally. Well done, Lauren Cohan … no more judgy eyes for you.

“Not now, Dana!” Annnnd the award for “Most Memorable Extra” goes to …

Everything Caroline. The character of Caroline Forbes has grown into something so much more than fandom could ever have imagined she would be. Yes, even when she divulges waaaay too much information – “Hey Tyler, wolf bites totally x-out vampires. Just thought you should know and I’m totally sure you’ll never use this information against me like ever” – I, for one, will never take down her Team banner. Her willingness to express every emotion to its pinnacle, her undying (haha) devotion to her friends, and her serious badass-ness as a vampire, make her by far one of my absolute favourite characters on this show. Carry on, Caroline!

Tyler. Caroline. The porch: I love the porches in this town. All hail the awesomeness of Mystic Falls’ porches and their power to elicit some of the best kisses EVER.

Damon Salvatore’s Bed: Forget the Titanic! From here on after, people will say: “Holy cow, that [insert name of ginormous item] is as big as Damon Salvatore’s bed!”

“Bite Me.” Ha. I know I really shouldn’t, but I’m totally loving Jules.

Beware of the Lady Wolf. Having Jules wake up naked in the woods, back in human form after her full moon bender to a buffet of leftovers (aka dismembered campers), then nonchalantly gather up the body parts to burn the evidence and club Ranger Rick to death all before breakfast, was awesome. Add to that her fearless taunting of Damon and her bold attempt to recruit Junior Wolf Tyler and there wasn’t a doubt in fandom’s minds – Beware! That Jules is one badass Lady Wolf.

Elena. For the most part, our favourite doppelganger deserved much applause this episode. She was shrewd enough to figure out Bonnie did not dispel the moonstone, quick-witted enough on the run to use sunlight and a wooden chair rung to defend herself against Rose, tough enough to wrench her fingers deep into Rose’s weeping wolf-bite when the sunlight and the chair rung weren’t handy, and still compassionate enough to sit by Rose’s bedside and try to give her comfort when she lay slowly and horribly dying and wasn’t trying to kill Elena. Yep, that Gilbert girl’s got some serious heroic spunk.

The Return of Uncle Daddy Hook. Anytime David Anders comes back to Mystic Falls I will giddily applaud. Cannot wait to discover what devious deeds he’s devising.

Stefan Can’t Hold His Vervain … Yet. I completely understand how trying to build up a tolerance for vervain is well-intentioned on Stefan’s part, even tactical, but I applaud it for its awesome potential to going horribly wrong if he dives off the wagon again *fingers crossed*.

Fang Triggers (The no-applause triggers that brought my ‘fangs’ out … or would have, if I had any)

Elena Coming Out of Hiding at Night. Of all the smart, awesome things she did do this episode, this was not one of them. There’s a delirious, hungry vampire loose in the house who’s already tried to kill you twice and that’s why you’re barricaded in Stefan’s room, and yet you decide the smart thing to do is wait her out till nightfall before unlocking the door and venturing out? Alone? At night? Um, okay.

“You can’t do that!” When Caroline told Matt he can’t just show up, offer his heart back and kiss her, I stomped my foot and pouted through the entire commercial break. Actually, two commercial breaks if you count the Tyler-on-the-porch scene.

Not even 2 minutes of Alaaaric. *headdesk, fangsnap, headesk* If you point out there’s a shotgun on the wall at the beginning of the story, it better damn well go off by the end, or really, what was the point? This is how I feel about the lack of Alaric in Season Two. Yes, I’m still on this, people. Why kill Mr. Tanner, bring in replacement history teacher Alaric Saltzman – who, OMG, happens to be husband to Isobel who gave him a Magic-Ring-of-Not-Dying and whose obsession with vampires eventually led her to becoming a vamp, causing Alaric to become Van Helsing and head to Mystic Falls where he ended up becoming a promising part of our heroic motley crew – and then *poof* have him virtually disappear from the story arc? At this point I’m left with holding out for Elijah’s involvement with Jenna to bring Alaric back into relevance. If he doesn’t I will continue to lose precious sleep over this, but no pressure writers, no pressure.

“It’s okay to love them both, you know?” It was left out! In the CW promos, Rose said this to Elena which had me completely invested in wanting to know what led them to such a convo and then they LEFT IT OUT of the episode. You know I love you, Vampire Diaries, but tip for later, no one likes a tease.

Sheriff Forbes. This pains me because I love Liz Forbes, I do, but come on, woman! EVERY TIME there’s a vampire on the loose, Damon catches it; EVERY TIME Damon offers to bury the body. E-V-E-R-Y T-I-M-E. Granted, I am not a trained police officer, but even my humble civilian gut finds this behaviour highly suspicious. Highly! Furthermore, why does she always call Damon? Doesn’t this town have a Vampire Hunting Council? Where is everybody?

Brewing on the Brain

Will Tyler betray Caroline now that he knows she’s been keeping secrets from him, especially concerning the truth about Uncle Mason?

Why is Jules really in Mystic Falls?

More werewolves “are on their way.” Who are they? Could there be Original Wolves, much like our Original Vampires, also bent on breaking The Curse first?

What will Bonnie Bennett do when she finds out what Damon has done (because you know she’s going to)? If she declares war, will lines be drawn between friends and allies?

Will Elijah and Damon’s dynamic change now that Damon has reverted back to his old ways?

What on earth possessed Stefan to bring Uncle John back to Mystic Falls?

Theories

Um, let’s see: more werewolves are on their way to Mystic Falls, Elijah’s lying in wait for an expected Klaus, John Gilbert is back in town, and Damon Salvatore just went diving off the deep end. My theory: ALL HELL IS ABOUT TO BREAK LOOSE!

So there you have it, Diaries fans: “The Descent” raved, ranted, and reviewed. Do you agree? Disagree? What did you think of The Vampire Diaries’ return?

Photo Courtesy of The CW