Mad Men Recap: The Chrysanthemum and the Sword

Oh, Sally Draper. It was just a few short weeks ago that I predicted that your crazy mother would cause you to need some major therapy, and now here you are, seeing a psychologist 4 times a week.

I loved the Sally plot this week. It has been fascinating to watch both the character and the actress who plays her – 10 year old Kiernan Shipka – develop this season. I was getting so restless watching the instability that is Don Draper and Betty Francis, so it was a relief to have Sally take a step towards perhaps being the catalyst that shocks these two into getting their acts together. I thought Sally cutting her hair was intriguing enough, especially with her outburst to the nurse/nanny that she suspects her to be “doing it” with Don, and that “doing it” entails a man peeing inside a woman. (Sally insists that a girl at school told her this, if by “girl at school”, she means Creepy Glenn. I mean, obvs.) But then Mad Men of course went and pushed the envelope even further when, in what must have been the most awkward TV scene to film EVER (remember, she’s only 10!), Sally masturbates to The Man From U.N.C.L.E.’s David McCallum at a sleepover, while her friend snoozes next to her on the couch. The friend’s mom brings Sally straight home and tells Betty that Sally was “playing with herself in public.” BTW, in my opinion, that was kind of an unfair statement. I mean, sure, masturbating while your friend is asleep on the couch next to you is a little weird, but I certainly wouldn’t go so far as classifying it as public. It’s not like Sally was touching herself in the middle of a crowded playground. Anyway.

Naturally, Betty completely overreacts to both of Sally’s antics, first slapping her across the face in front of Don and Henry when Don returns her home with short hair, and then threatening to cut her fingers off (yes, you read that right) if she ever touches herself inappropriately again. Both Don and Henry think Betty should win Worst Mother of the Year Award and admonish her for her overreaction. This week demonstrated to me that Henry Francis might not be such a bad guy after all, even if he was partially responsible for the broken home that Sally is now rebelling against. He gives Betty surprisingly poignant advice on how to handle Sally acting out – i.e., not threatening to chop off her fingers or slapping her across the face – as well as convinces her to take Sally to a therapist. I seriously hope that the writers let us listen in on some of Sally’s therapy sessions because they are sure to be fascinating.

Back at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, Honda Motorcycles are considering moving away from their agency-of-record, Grey, and are offering agencies $3,000 to make a competitive presentation. SCDP has received an invitation to compete. Two decades after the fact, Roger is still pissed off about World War II and is adamant about not wanting to work with the Japanese. Of course, this results in an absolutely incredible slew of extremely offensive/rather amazing racial slurs. Don, Burt, Peter, and Joan attempt to take part in the competition without letting Roger know and study up on Japanese etiquette with the help of the book The Chrysanthemum and the Sword. Don takes Bethany on a field trip to the well-known Hibachi joint (which had apparently was brand-spanking-new then), Benihana. Peter, the residential expert on the protocol of how to deal with the Japanese, imparts the wisdom that “We don’t have to do anything but avoid criticizing them or giving advice.” Anyway, Roger inevitably finds out about the meeting and proceeds to crash it, entering with the quip, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know this meeting was happening. But then again, I know how some people like surprises.” Then, when the Honda execs don’t take the hint that the meeting is over, he adds another zinger: “They won’t know it’s over until you drop a big one. Twice.” (Is it terrible of me that I find the shock value of these statements so positively delightful?)

The Japanese Honda execs are a delight themselves. The translator is absolutely magical. When they’re getting the tour and enter the “Creative Lounge,” his translation of the description of the room is simply, “I have no idea what this room is for.” Also, I LOVED how the Honda guys are enticed with Joan’s figure: “How does she not fall over?”, one of them wonders. Joan remarks, “Not very subtle, are they?” as they ogle her breasts, and the translator replies, “No, they are not!” SUCH A WIN.

And Christ on a cracker! Peter is turning into such a little progressive! Don, Bert, and Peter confront Roger, who defends himself by talking about all the buddies he had that died in WWII, but Pete has just HAD IT. He straps on a pair of balls and outbursts, “You know every chip I make, we become less dependent on Lucky Strike, and therefore less dependent on you.” I also loved that later, Joan was the one to soothe Roger with the rather touching line, “You fought to make the world a safer place, and you won, and now it is.”

And finally, I can’t really end this review without talking about the BRILLIANT scam that SCDP pulls on CGC. CGC’s obnoxious creative director, Ted Chaough (Kevin Rahm), is gloating because they won Clearisil after SCDP dropped the account, and is taking every opportunity to taunt Don. (Although, am I the only one wondering why they are bragging about getting sloppy seconds?) Since CGC is also an independent agency with little cashflow, Don tricks them into believing that SCDP are breaking the rule about presenting completed work and are producing a commercial for the Honda pitch, when really, they are just renting out a soundstage where Peggy rides a red Honda motorcycle around for a while (THE BEST). Chaough decides he needs to outdo SCDP, so he spends mad dough doing an ACTUAL commercial, and then Don impresses the Honda execs by resigning from the competition, citing the fact that they are breaking their own rules. Way to use your manipulation skills for something other than getting a girl to sleep with you, Don! High fives all around.

In the end, I absolutely loved this episode and thought it was one of the best of the season so far. Here’s hoping the writers keep it up (and Don can continue to keep it in his pants.)

Here are some of the best quotes from the past three weeks (sorry for no recaps for the past two weeks, folks … I actually work in advertising and it’s not all martini lunches and hookers. I’ve been a bit bogged down with work.)

From this week’s episode, “The Chrysanthemum and the Sword”:

“You’re always asleep in here!”
- and pretty much everything Don’s new secretary said
+ 3 … because there were too many hysterical moments to keep track of.

“Please tell me I missed everything.”
-Don hates partner meetings.
+1

“You must have to loosen them up first.”
-The pun-loving Roger Sterling on the Secor Laxative people.
+1

“You look like a mongoloid!”
- Bobby does not approve of Sally’s new haircut, and he lets her know it with one of most politically incorrect statements of the episode, which is saying something.
+1

“You didn’t have to hit her.” “You’re right, because it doesn’t do anything.”
-I decided I’m going to take away points from Betty for being THE WORST.
-1

“We don’t have to do anything but avoid criticizing them or giving advice.”
-Pete Campbell on how to deal with Japanese businessmen.
+1

“I don’t know what this room is for.”
-The Japanese translator’s opinion on SCDP’s “Creative Lounge.”
+1

“How does she not fall over?”
- One of the Honda execs wonders about Joan’s curvaciousness.
+1

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know this meeting was happening. But then again, I know how some people like surprises.”
-Roger is not a very subtle racist.
+1

“I’m warning you … they won’t know it’s over till you drop a big one. Twice.”
-Roger continues to be a not very subtle racist.
+1

“Christ on a cracker!”
-I love Peter Campbell-isms.
+1

“You know every chip I make, we become less dependent on Lucky Strike and therefore less dependent on you.”
-Pete Campbell is done brown-nosing and says it like it is.
+1

“Have you seen these? We’re trying to figure out what makes it work.” “I’m still wondering what makes YOU work.”
-Don Draper lets the new guy, Joey, know how he REALLY feels.
+1

“I’ll cut your fingers off!”
-Betty continues to be THE WORST MOTHER EVER in her threat to Sally if she ever catches her masturbating again.
-1

“The nice thing is that it has windows so you can see your brain splattering against it when it crashes.”
-Lane’s thoughts on Honda’s new car design.
+1

From “The Rejected” (8/14/10):

“Why is this bottle empty?” “Because you drank it all.”
-Duh, Don, thinks Allison.
+1

“Lee, the jockey smokes the cigarette.”
-Obvious statement of the day by Roger, but we all know Lee at Lucky Strike isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.
+1

“Over half this agency is dedicated to your needs but if you want to get into the line by line of your costs we’ve billed for, I’ll have Lane Pryce at the foot of your bed in half an hour.”
- Roger is not thrilled that Lee has figured out that SCDP is billing Lucky Strike for work other than Lucky Strike.
+1

“There’s a fire!”
-Don knows how to get out of an annoying client call.
+1

“It’s the worst agency I’ve ever seen. The worst. My mother was a nurse at the state hospital … and that was the last time I saw so many retarded people in one building.”
-Ken Cosgrove does not think too highly of his new employer, McCann Erickson.
+1

“You look swellegant.”
-Would anybody judge me if I made this a part of my regular vocabulary? Peggy’s new lesbian friend, Joyce, knows all the hippest slang.
+1

“Does your boyfriend own your vagina?” “No, but he’s renting it.”
-Peggy on whose property her vagina is, and such an amazing statement and therefore deserving of multiple points.
+2

“You read the stuff between ads?”
-Joey would understand how I watch the Superbowl for the commercials.
+1

“You’re not a good person!”
-Oh snap, Allison. You sure told Don!
+1

“Dr. Miller’s here to see you. It’s a she.”
-Don’s new secretary, Mrs. Blankenship, just wanted to clarify.
+1

“Did you get any pears?”
-Best cliffhanger of all time award goes to Don’s old man neighbor.
+1

This is not a quote, but it deserves bonus points nonetheless:
I love Peggy so much.
+1

From “The Good News” (8/7/10):

“Breast or thigh?”
-KFC has never sounded so sexy thanks to Joan.
+1

“I understand that all men are dizzy and powerless to refuse you, but consider me the incorruptible exception.”
-Lane is not susceptible to Joan’s charms and curvaceous bod.
+1

“I thought American men were bad enough, but none of them has ever so consistently made me feel like a helpless, stupid little girl.”
-PREACH, Joan.
+1

“Do you think there are more Mexicans here or in Acupulco?”
-Anna Draper on California immigrants.
+1

“Does Howdy Doody have a wooden dick?”
-Don to Lane on if they’re really going to the movies.
+1

“What percentage?”
-Lane turns handjobs in movie theatres into an accounting dilemma.
+1

“Look at me! I’ve got a Texas best buckle!”
-This image of Lane will never leave my mind, and I am grateful for it.
+1

“I think Norman Mailer shot a deer in here once.”
-Oh, the things Don says to impress hookers.
+1

THE STANDINGS:

THE PAST THREE WEEKS:
Roger: 5
Don: 5
Lane: 4
Mrs. Blankenship: 4
Peggy: 3
Peter: 3
Joan: 2
Allison: 2
Honda exec: 1
Japanese translator: 1
Anna Draper: 1
Don’s old man neighbor:
Ken Cosgrove: 1
Joyce: 1
Joey: 1
Bobby: 1
Betty: -2

OVERALL:
Roger: 16
Peter: 7
Peggy: 7
Don: 7
Lane: 4
Miss Blankenship: 4
Freddy: 3
Faye: 3
Joan: 2
Allison: 2
Honda exec: 1
Japanese translator: 1
Anna Draper: 1
Don’s old man neighbor: 1
Ken Cosgrove: 1
Harry: 1
Sally: 1
Joyce: 1
Joey: 1
Bobby: 1
Creepy Glenn: 1
Trudy: 1
Atherton: 1