There aren’t a lot of TV shows out there that make me feel smarter. There are shows that have made me feel geekier (LOST), stupider (Gossip Girl), turned on (True Blood … helloooo Eric wearing a v-neck powder blue sweater!), um, teenage girl-ier (Pretty Little Liars), and just plain old awkward (Degrassi), but one of the only shows that has ever made me feel like I’m an obscenely cool, highly intelligent human being is Mad Men. Maybe it’s because I work in advertising and am thus able to recognize the agency names and campaigns of yesteryear that they throw around in their dialogue. Or maybe it’s because it makes me feel like I’m scoring history lesson points at the same time as being able to enjoy the visual delight that is Jon Hamm in a three-piece suit. Regardless, I was busy, like most of sensible America, getting smarter on Sunday night with AMC’s season four premiere of Mad Men, “Public Relations.”
First, a little bit of catch-up. Last season, Sterling Cooper had been subject to a British invasion when they were bought out by an agency from across the pond, Putnam, Powell, and Lowe. The season finale found Don Draper and his band of merry mad men about to be bought out again, this time by McCann Erickson. Don, Roger Sterling, Bertram Cooper, and Lane Pryce decided to jump ship, taking Joan, Peggy, Harry and Pete with them to form their own agency, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. Betty broke into Don’s desk drawer that contained super secret artifacts about his super secret past and his true identity of Dick Whitman. After Don came clean, Betty confessed that she no longer loved him, and headed to Reno to prepare for the divorce with her soon-to-be replacement husband, politician Henry Francis.
The first words of the season four premiere came from a one-legged Advertising Age journalist, who was interviewing Don for a profile on him and the new agency. “Who is Don Draper?” he asked, and audiences everywhere guffawed at the irony of that question, and the even more ironic response as Draper refused to give the reporter a clear answer. Instead, he impolitely retorts that he’s from the Midwest where they were taught that it’s impolite to talk about yourself. OK. Anyway, that question, which has haunted viewers since season one, was certainly prominent throughout the episode as we saw a much different version of Don than we’ve seen before. He initially seems as suave and slick as ever in his equally slick new offices, complete with tinted glass offices, modern lines, a particularly awesome orange-red knoll sofa, and, of course, the new (and fantastic) Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce logo on the wall. But as the episode progresses, it’s hard to miss that Don, who’s typically infamous for being able to keep it all together, is unraveling. Similarly, the new offices aren’t as great as they seem because they have neither a conference room nor a second floor, and are having a hard time staying afloat.
Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce is trying to win new business with Jantzen Swimsuits, who are premiering a bikini, which they refuse to call a bikini because they are a family company and everyone knows family companies make two-piece bathing suits, not bikinis. Am I right? Meanwhile, a horrifically sunburned Harry is back from LA where it looks like the jai alai account they won last season for the ridiculous “sport” that’s really only good for smashing ant farms is actually moving forward. Peggy has, praise God, lost the horrible bangs, but gained confidence, a super cute coworker in Joey (Jack and Bobby’s Matt Long), and, finally, a nicotine addiction. Also, she may or may not be dating Karl from LOST.
Peggy and Peter, who is just as earnest and politically incorrect as ever, are working to impress Sugarberry Ham, who is losing confidence in the new agency. They decide to put together a little PR stunt for Sugarberry involving two actresses fighting over the ham at a local grocery store. Since for some reason they decide not to run the idea past Don, they need to keep it under the radar, so Peter suggests calling the actresses whores so he can expense it. ZING.
Roger has fixed up Don on date with Bethany, a Betty Draper lookalike, at Jimmy’s LaGrange. They eat chicken kiev per Roger’s suggestion because the butter apparently squirts EVERYWHERE, and she tells him about her job as a supernumerary in the opera. They share a cab, and when they reach her apartment, Don sleazily suggests that he walks her in. It is really off-putting, because Don Draper is not supposed to be sleazy, he is supposed to be Don Draper. She rejects him but still would like to see him again sometime. He could see her again if he accepted Roger’s invitation to Thanksgiving dinner at his place as Bethany will also be attending, and after all, Roger “needs someone white to carve his turkey.” But instead Don decides to spend Thanksgiving alone at his dark, depressing apartment on Waverly and 6th avenue, where he hires a prostitute to slap him repeatedly in the face while having sex (which prompted this hilarious e-card). I’m wondering if this is just a dream and Leonardo DiCaprio is going to show up with a spinning top because clearly this world can’t be reality if Don bloody Draper needs to pay someone to sleep with him.
Back in Suburbia, Betty is still the worst person alive and continues to live in Don’s house (which he still paying for) and emotionally abuse the children. Betty, Henry, and the kids who will need a lot of therapy one day enjoy an awkward Thanksgiving dinner at Henry’s mother’s house. Sally, who has lost her lisp, also thinks her mother is the worst person alive and rebels against her by spitting out her sweet potatoes. Bobby still likes sweet potatoes though, so that’s good. Henry’s mother is generally unimpressed with Betty and tells Henry so, and that night, Henry doesn’t reciprocate Betty’s sexual advances.
The next day, Don comes to pick up the kids. Henry and Betty get into the car in the garage to go somewhere and Henry suddenly is all over her because he feels like Don threatens his masculinity or something like that. They hadn’t opened the garage door yet, and I was secretly hoping that they would both die from carbon monoxide poisoning. In fact, when Don returns the kids from a great father-child bonding session of him doing work and smoking in his apartment while they watch TV, Betty and Henry aren’t there, and I got super excited that my wish came true until, alas, the couple from Hell came traipsing in. Don tells them that they need to vacate his house or that Henry needs to buy it from him (Ha! Like someone who works in the public sector could afford that house!) and Henry tells Don that their residency there is only temporary. Don delivers the best line of the night when he replies, “Everyone thinks this is only temporary.”
At the end of the episode, the agency loses the jai alai account because Don didn’t mention them in his interview with Ad Age, and the publicity stunt impresses Sugarberry Hams even though the actresses wind up in jail. Don completely loses it at the execs from Jantzen Swimsuits because they’re a family company, remember, and therefore the idea he shows them, a woman with a black bar across her top that reads “So well built we can’t even show you the second floor,” fails to impress them. Don is very upset that his wife left him, that he lives in a crappy apartment, that the new company isn’t doing well, and that the Jantzen Swimsuit executives don’t realize that family values aren’t going to sell a bikini – erm, excuse me, a two-piece bathing suit. Everyone at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce is very upset with Don for bombing the Ad Age interview, and even Peggy stands up to Don when he yells at her that the publicity stunt could hurt the agency’s image by retorting, “Nobody knows about the ham stunt so our image remains pretty much where you left it.” I am very upset by the new depressed and depressing Don Draper. He seems to start to pull it together in the final scene when he sits down with a Wall Street Journal reporter in an effort to repair his image, but I think we have a lot more of dark Don to look forward to. He no longer has his family to keep him tethered, and I think the reality of this is causing him to become slightly unhinged.
The episode wasn’t all doom and gloom, though. While the suave Don Draper we know and love may be taking a sabbatical, the smart and hilarious writing sure isn’t. Take a look at the best quotes from the episode and see which character won for best zingers of the night. I’ll be keeping the scoring going throughout the season, so be sure to check back to see where your favorite character stands in the rankings each week!
Quotes Score Chart:
“We thank you for your sacrifice.”
- Peter to the Ad Age journalist who lost a leg in the Korean War
+1
“They’re so cheap, they can’t even afford a whole reporter.”
- Roger about the Ad Age journalist
+1
“I love how they sit there like two choirboys. You know one of them is leaving New York with VD.”
- Roger about the Jantzen Swimsuit execs
+1
“Creatively, Y&R’s not capable of living in this neighborhood. You know why? You don’t work there.”
- Peter brilliantly kissing Don’s ass, as usual
+1
“Get the chicken kiev. The butter squirts everywhere.”
- Roger tells Don what to order at Jimmy’s LaGrange on his date with Bethany
+1
“I can use my expense account if I say they’re whores.”
- Peter, about the actresses for the Sugarberry Hams PR stunt
+1
“Come turkey day, maybe you can stuff her.”
- Roger, trying to persuade Don to come to Thanksgiving dinner
+1
“[I need] someone white to carve my turkey.”
- Roger, on why he needs Don to come to Thanksgiving dinner
+1
“I need $280 for bail.”
- Words you never expected to hear from Peggy Olson
+1
“Believe me, everybody thinks this is temporary.”
- Don to Henry
+1
“Nobody knows about the ham stunt so our image remains pretty much where you left it.”
- Peggy standing up to Don
+1
TOTALS:
Roger: 5
Peter: 3
Peggy: 2
Don: 1
Photo Courtesy of AMC
Elisabeth Bromberg works in digital advertising in New York City. When she’s not working, she enjoys discovering new awesome things on the Internet and engaging in a sordid romantic affair with her TiVo.
Elisabeth Bromberg works in digital advertising in New York City. When she’s not working, she enjoys discovering new awesome things on the Internet and engaging in a sordid romantic affair with her TiVo. 